Crabs!

Now THAT'S a vacation. Sparky and I went to D.C. and Maryland to sit on the dock, catch crabs, and get sunburned on our backs. It was fantastic fun, outrageously relaxing, and utterly slow and boring. Couldn't have asked for anything more!

Sparky was a huge fan of catching the crabs off the fish-head-baited lines, but eating them was... well, let's just say that eat freshly steamed crabs must be an acquired taste. None of my boyfriends ever seem to get as much of a thrill out of it as I do.

We got some serious thunderstorm action at night, another thing I miss from East Coast summers — the power was out until 3am on our last night!

Thanks Suzan, for letting us tag along on your trip.

In Reno... and an update!

July 4th weekend this year was in Reno and the high Sierras, with Aaron and his mom's family. It was *super fun*! I don't even remember what I did last year for the 4th, but I think this one will stick with me for a while. We did a four hour hike in the mountains yesterday, ending up at "Rock Lake" which was a beautiful mountain stream with a view of Washoe Valley. Then last night, Aaron's step-dad set up his 8-inch reflector telescope in the backyard (it has a full concrete base and mount poured into place, so the image was rock-solid!) and we got to peer at the rings and even the moons of Saturn. It was the most relaxing outdoor weekend I've had in years.

I'm not sure if any of you are reading this anymore, since it's been more than a month since I last updated. But that's actually part of the relevant "update" for this post. Blogging really helped me communicate what was going on over the winter and spring, as I slowly dug out from my divorce. It was too hard (and emotionally draining) to keep everyone individually updated, so writing in "broadcast mode" to everyone at once helped a lot.

Now, though, I'm finding that I don't really need the crutch anymore. You are all basically my support network, and you know where I am right now — somewhere great. Aaron is a sweetheart, work is fantastic, and things have slowly fallen into place. The difficult winter feels behind me.

So, while not quite a "goodbye" post, you can expect far fewer updates on the Billy Show here. From now on you'll just have to ask me directly, which sounds like a great excuse for us to talk and catch up anyway.

I think I'll keep the blog and refocus it on complaining about Muni, a subject that never stops entertaining me.

Thanks for reading!
Billy

Getta Grip on your Creativity!

No more pins, no more pain! My friend Paul has put the finishing touches on his "Getta Grip" line of sewing clips. They're in production right now, and will be available this July.

For any of you (or your friends) who dabble in making clothing or even if you are just hemming your pants, these clips will let you get rid of those nasty pins that poke your fingers and ruin your fabric. It's been great fun working with Paul on getting these things created.

And of course, they make great gifts! Check out his blog at GettaGripClip to find out where they're being shown, and for online ordering later this summer.

Mmmmm.... bacon.

Splurged and made bacon and eggs before work this morning. Yummm!!!! Sparky is biking all the way to work in San Bruno so I figured I'd get him started with some serious sustenance. Then I had to make double extra for me. :-)

It's looking like a fun weekend is brewing: hanging with friends tonight, then the Maker's Fair tomorrow to help Paul unveil his latest creation! I should have a post on that soon, but it's still under wraps. Probably by this afternoon, though! Happy weekend everyone.

Divorce Court

Yesterday I spent about 90 minutes in Divorce Court. Well, actually at the San Francisco Superior Court "Family Law Self-Help Center." I'm still jumping through hoops to get my domestic partnership dissolved. Now it looks like July 15th will be the big day.

Very strange timing, given this week's affirmation by the California Supreme Court that gay people are second-class citizens. While all of my "facebook friends" (i.e. people I don't really know) are all a-twitter about their outrage and how we'll get-em-next-time, I must say that it's been pretty much a non-event and unemotional for me. The long list of forms just to eliminate my domestic partnership are pretty serious. I hope all these gay people dying to get married know that it's both a right and a responsibility. Gay Marriage: The Dark Side!

I still say, the best sign at last year's protest march was, "The only relationship gay marriage will ruin is my own." Tee, hee!!

Speaking of sweethearts,

Speaking of sweethearts, I'd be remiss if I didn't make clear that Sparky is absolutely the biggest sweetheart of all. We had a fantastic weekend together, and he is just the sweetest guy ever. Even sweeter and cheesier than the cheesiest soufflé!

Soufflé Weekend

I've spent the last two weeks obsessing over cheese soufflé. Yes this is ridiculous; please join Sparky in making fun of me. But as you can see, on Memorial Day I finally was successful in creating the difficult French culinary masterpiece. Behold my first soufflé, full of eggy Gruyere goodness! It didn't deflate as in I Love Lucy and was... well... interesting. It basically tasted like a big poofy cheese sponge. Maybe next time I'll try chocolate.

In other news, the long weekend was terrific. Played dice all night Friday with the boys; spent Saturday helping Gallo with a big project he's creating (more on that shortly), and then saw some of Sparky's friends at Lucky 13 (and what a gross a dive bar that is. Complete with girl puking into a potted palm on the back deck... yuck); Sunday out dancing 'til all hours with Sparky, and Monday in Phancy's back yard having a nice relaxing barbecue. His yard looks great and I'm so glad I got to hang out with him yesterday. What a sweetheart.

Now I have to continue playing catch-up at work after being gone so many days last week. So, back to the grind — no time to even think about the Prop 8 ruling just yet.

Houston - What a shithole!

YAY! I'm back from Houston after a four-day transportation conference. The conference went very well and all three of our presentations came off without a hitch. I even got not one but two "Oooh"s from the audience during mine. Seriously, yay!

But that's not the real story of the trip. The real story is that Houston is a big shithole. I can't believe that it's the fourth-largest city in America (by population -- it covers a huge swath of Texas though); I can't imagine anybody wanting to ever live there.

First of all, downtown is incredibly dreary. The photo above is a main downtown Houston street at about 7:05pm, and as you can see there is one car, and one bus, for as far as the eye can see. I did manage to get one blurry pedestrian in the photo, which was also a surprise because, believe me, nobody walks anywhere in Houston. Even the McDonalds had already shut its doors by 7:00. Totally dead.

Then one night I took a cab out the 'burbs to find the gay bars with my fellow queer transit planners. The neighborhood known as "Montrose" has all the gay bars clustered together, which definitely had a feeling of circling the wagons in enemy territory. The neighborhood had "sidewalks" but I use the term loosely, because some blocks actually didn't have any sidewalks, and others had sidewalks at one point in the past, but now had ripped up concrete squares that literally rose three or four feet up where tree roots had busted them -- at least a decade ago. Walking the streets of Montrose really was a new form of urban hiking which required special footwear. I only wish I had a photo of that too. (Oh, and once inside, the bars were full of clean shaven twinkies no matter where we went... Texas is not bear country.)

And to top it all off, my hotel room had a fantastic view of Enron 1 and Enron 2, both now occupied by Shell Oil. Enron 2 was only half-built when the company collapsed under the weight of its shell-game crooked accounting scandals. Then, the huge american flag which they attached to the building in fall 2001 to commemorate our fallen, ripped off during Hurricane Ike and the flag's connector hooks clawed huge gashes out of the building's glass window curtain. That's some serious metaphor. The shiny 50-story building still has plywood taped over some sections of its facade. There are a lot of other evil corporations with HQ in Houston -- Waste Management, Hess, Elpaso Gas (which had great propaganda posters at street level).

What a creepy town, still filled with hucksters and crooks. Of course none of this should surprise me, because the head of Houston's travel modeling agency applied for my open position and spelled his own name wrong on his résumé.

Too bad about that iPhone

Bummer — a friend of mine just got an iPhone without asking me first. I know a lot of his friends already have one and it's great to be in the pack and get the same thing everyone else has... but, *sigh*. I ended up having to completely erase and reformat TWO of his home computers and put Vista on one and a bootleg copy of Windows XP on another, just so he could run iTunes and sync his phone. And he had to cancel his account with T-Mobile and get a locked AT&T phone, even though AT&T spies on Americans.

If he had just asked me, he would have known that the T-Mobile G1 with Android works perfectly with Linux, is completely synced automatically with his contact list on Gmail (and gets his Gmail direct to his phone), and has a videocamera built-in with upload to YouTube. Can't do that on an iPhone. Oh and it still has all the games and a beautiful touch-screen. And a slide-out full-size keyboard. And it's cheaper.

I didn't say a word to him about it, and instead spent the entire afternoon on Saturday doing computer maintenance for him so he could get his stupid locked-in Apple device to work.

Why do people listen to anyone other than me for technology advice? *sigh*.

Obama loves Drupal

Anybody out there know the best integrated solution for a grassroots community website which needs both wiki and forum functionality?

I love Twiki/FOSWiki, and have used it for years. But it doesn't do web forums. And both Django and Drupal seem to have really solid forum capabilities, but their wikis suck. Obama loves Drupal, by the way — the new recovery.gov website is all Drupal. How weird that our President has an open source website. Rock on. (And you just know that McCain used ASP pages)

So, do I have to hack two separate systems together to get wiki+forum working, or is there some option that I've overlooked?

Seattle wrap-up

Seattle, as always, was super fun. I just love that town, and have felt for many years that it was a good fit for me. Not that I'm moving or anything -- I love SF too -- but the trip reminded me of all the reasons I like it there. Back when I was married, my love of the Pacific Northwest was a source of friction because my Ex really hated it up there.

The conference was pretty great and then Sparky came up on Thursday night so we could hang out for the weekend. He hadn't been there since he was a little kid, so I got to show him all my favorite hang-outs!

Plus, Sparky's Aunt Jezzana lives there. She's a tarot card expert, and quite a hoot, and they hung out while I was in my conference on Friday. And then we spent the next two days just running around. Saturday was overcast but otherwise the weather was fantastic, especially on Friday when it was 70 and beautiful. I packed in quite a bit: breakfast in the U-District; Gasworks Park, Fremont and the Troll under the bridge; the Ballard locks -- which actually had fish swimming down the fish ladder!! -- and a great hike in Discovery Park. By Saturday night we pooped out on Alki Beach and watched a storm blow through.

Sunday we had dim sum in the International District (chinatown) with my friend Charlie, one more dose of Aunt Jezzana, and a flight home around dinnertime. Not to be outdone, we returned to San Francisco with a vengeance and saw Suppositori Spelling doing her patented watch-how-many-shots-I-can-drink-before-I-pass-out performance. Wow!!

In Seattle!

I'm in Seattle for a land use growth forecasting conference for the next few days. Having lived here in the '90s, it's crazy seeing how different things here have become. I don't remember downtown having so many people living in it -- it was more of an evening ghost-town financial district back when I was here. Looks like the new urbanism is really happening here!

Sparky's meeting me here tonight and we're spending the weekend in town, so more to come shortly.

Dominion

It's been a long time since I spent all weekend playing a card game. This Saturday I picked up Dominion at Gamescape on Divisadero, and pretty much played it all weekend.

Zabe and Pooja came over that evening, and after some serious affogato caffeine injections we played round after round until 1:30am. Sparky and I hadn't had enough so we continued the madness on Sunday. And since he was struck by a car while cycling to the gym yesterday, I'd say staying home playing cards was probably not a bad idea. (Don't worry, he's fine, but he was definitely shaken up by the ordeal.)

It's not exactly a drinking game, at least not like Killer Bunnies where you can be pretty toasted and still know how to play. There's more strategy and thinking, but it's surprisingly fun and every game plays out a bit differently. Two thumbs up!

Pickle Surprise

This needs no explanation.

That was easy!

So it turns out, telling my friends to chill and then telling my Ex that it's all going to be fine and there's no reason to be all freaky, was really easy. Now we'll just have to wait and see if they can all actually just chill and be easy. Glad that's over!

My sisters Suzan and Sonya are arriving in two days — I absolutely can't wait to see them, it's going to be two tons of fun. Depending on weather we'll either be sitting in Dolores Park drinking beer.... or sitting at home drinking beer, all weekend long.

Sweeeet!!

Complicated Friendships

John's post on friendship got me thinking a bit over the past few days. I now basically have two separate sets of friends: (1) people I know from my own independent efforts, whether that be from the deep past, from work, or more recent acquaintances; and (2) people that I met either during or because of my marriage.

It's probably no surprise that the set of friends from the married era are the most complicated personal relationships in my life right now. They are tortured because things are now "so different" and they feel that the burden is on them to balance time and social engagements between me and my ex. It's funny; since they do such a good job of fretting over this, I never see what they go through and only see the results (and the results are that I frequently get to hang out with them and do fun things, and occasionally I am subjected to complete radio silence for a day or two when they're too embarrassed to let me know that they're hanging out with my ex.)

It's been almost six months now since our divorce. I think that's long enough that they really need to stop worrying about it; I certainly have. The opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference. At this point, I don't particularly care if I do or don't see my ex when I'm out socially. That isn't to say there won't still be some awkward moments in the future, because I'm sure those will still occur. Can't avoid that. But it has only as much energy as people give it: I do hope my friends from that era really hear me saying that they don't need to keep doing this. I love them too much to see them suffer.

Happy Easter!

What a fantastic day in the park yesterday. Hope y'all had as much fun as I did! Sorry, no pictures though... some things are better left for the memories and not my burning eyes! :-)

How Billy sees San Francisco

I think this image (which I just whipped up at work) explains my new vantage point of this city: it is a big messy pile of steep hills, with some (not so) secret passages connecting the lowlands.

Now that I'm biking everywhere, I find myself constantly wondering what route has the least amount of elevation climb. This is pretty fascinating since I spend all day at work trying to guess how people make travel decisions anyway; now, there seem to be some new variables entering the equations. If you're driving you don't much care about hills unless you're driving stick and you can't get up the Divisadero Street climb from Lombard without crushing the little green Honda behind you. But on a bike, suddenly about half the city seems pretty impassable.

I love how the "wiggle" to Golden Gate Park shows up on this map, the finger of green and yellow just north of the central red blob. Now that I've biked it, I finally "get" why those bike routes are so important.

Does your Atari have a USB port?

Mine does. :-)

My recent re-fascination with all things retro Atari has reached a new plateau: I soldered a $14 USB port onto my Atari 800 motherboard, melted a hole in the plastic case for the connector, and — voila! — I can now connect my Atari to my Windows laptop, and the Atari just thinks the laptop is a regular disk drive.

What does this mean? It means that I can now download all the old ROM images off the internet, and play them on my original Atari with the original joysticks! I definitely feel a retro gaming night coming up.

Bike ride!

Wow, just got back from a 19 mile ride on the new bike. Sparky and I went from his place through "the wiggle" to Golden Gate Park, all the way to beach. That part was easy, it's basically all downhill. The way back, around Lake Merced and up over St. Francis Wood, was pretty grueling for a first ride -- 1300 feet of climb according to google maps. Ouch.

But, I made it the entire way without walking the bike, and other than a sugar crash in Glen Park which required an immediate injection of beef jerky and Coca Cola, the ride went without a hitch. And what a gorgeous day to be out there all afternoon!!

I love spring.

Sonoma for the weekend....

I'm heading up to Sonoma County for the weekend to test out my new bike on the redwood and bohemian highways. The past two weeks have been unusually packed with late nights at the office and even some work on the weekends, so the blog has gotten boring and the Billy has gotten cranky! This weekend trip should fix both problems.

I'll be heading up to Guerneville with Sparky, and we're going to bicycle either to Occidental or to Sebastopol for the amazing Mexican food at my favorite restaurant up there. Or, we might skip the long rides entirely and just fart around town and hike through the redwood forest at Armstrong Woods... it's supposed to be fantastically gorgeous and warm this weekend, so I don't really care what we do as long as it's outside, nowhere near a computer, and filled with tall trees. Yay, road trip!

Awesomest employee evar!

LOL! I got a framed plaque at work today for creating our new timesheet system — I don't think I've ever gotten an employee appreciation award anywhere before. How cute!

I am now in the running for most awesomest employee evar. I need a new project!

Springtime!

After such a beautiful week here, it's only fair that springtime start today. I biked into work almost every day this week and spent Wednesday afternoon in the park -- it feels like my weekend started days ago!

Boy am I happy that winter's over!

Billy's Happy Spot

O.M.G. I finally figured out how to merge all our code at work into one mega Git repository. You non-hackers out there must wonder why I would blog about this, but trust me on this one — this is a huge step for my team. Now, all of my staff & consultants can work in parallel on model updates, and I can pull their changes into our main codebase with the flick of my wrist. See that pretty picture? That's six lines of development all converging onto a single, happy spot. That's Billy's Happy Spot!!

It's amazing to me how open-source tools just keep trouncing the competition. Git has made my work life so much easier.

Got my Fixie!

I am the proud owner of a new bicycle!

It's silver, it's fixed-gear (all the rage with the Mission Hipsters these days), and I've already begun commuting on it. No action shots yet but I'll post a picture or two soon. OK it's just a bike, but still... it's mine! I haven't bought a bike new since I lived in Chicago.

Hopefully this means a lot less griping about the Muni underground, too. And a tighter ass too!

Muni Meltdown -- it's back!!

It was too good to be true — a J-Church train with maws open and beckoning at the Van Ness platform. Of course it turned out to be my personal nightmare, a "medical emergency" on the train, which blocked all rail traffic out of the tunnel on all routes, for twenty-five minutes. This emergency was a heroin overdosing woman -- I can spot that look anywhere, after working at Civic Center for six years. When we did finally emerge at the Church Street Safeway, the wires were down over Market Street so it took another ten minutes to go one block. Then the train skipped my own stop for no explicable reason, and I had to walk back (and uphill, waaaah!) from 22nd. Gripe gripe gripe. Stay tuned for a later post on how urban local rail service is designed all wrong (think: no passing lanes!)

The past two days on Muni have been.... exasperating.

Yesterday there was the typical J-line trains coming in 18, 21, and 24 minutes (instead of evenly spaced) on my way to work; and then on the way back there were no J-lines at Van Ness for 18 minutes, and then a delay at Van Ness, so I took the first L-Terrible I could board (which was the fifth train to arrive at the station, due to overcrowding), and then got off at Church and walked all the way to the top of Liberty Hill and I still managed to beat that J-Church train home.

OK, so all this griping has a point. The unreliability problems on Muni would turn even the most ardent transit supporter into a single-occupant car driver. Parking at Civic Center is only $7 per day even at the daily rate, if you hunt around for the right lot. That's a lot cheaper than BART round-trip if you don't live in SF. For those of us who do live here, I know I'm not the only one that really wants to take Muni but is just bludgeoned by the awful user experience (on average, once or twice a week).

Thus, the photo accompanying this blog. This weekend, I am buying a "fixie" single-gear bicycle. I'm going to paint it pastel colors, and I am commuting up this hill with Billy Butt Power from now on. It can't hurt my physique, and I'll know exactly how long my commute takes, every day, from now on. I used to bike a few days a week when I lived in the Castro, before the bike was stolen, but it's been almost a year and it's long past time to get back in the saddle.

Blank

Feeling a bit blank today. On every level you'd think I had a great weekend: saw a show, went dancing until 2am with Sparky, met Nancy Pelosi, hung out with friends, made a fantastic dinner (beef burgundy over egg noodles, with fresh slaw on the side!) But for some reason I woke up this morning feeling a bit hollow. I have no idea why; I guess it's just "one of those days."

I'm going to dive into work for a while and get some stuff done that's been bugging me. I'm hoping that having some accomplishments under my belt will make me feel better.

Or maybe it's this dark weather! I was loving the rain for the past few weeks but perhaps it's time for a serious springtime comeback -- after all, it's March now. I'm ready for some sunshine.

Car broken into again... sigh...

OK so this isn't fun anymore.

Last month, my car was stolen from the block in front of my apartment; it showed up the next day with $200 of parking tickets and a giant hole in the dashboard where my stereo used to be. I had just moved to a place without a garage and wasn't accustomed to pulling the faceplate off my stereo, so hey lesson learned right? Right.

So last weekend, Sparky and I finally got the new kick-ass stereo installed, which I totally love. I've also gotten in the habit of removing the faceplate every time, taking it with me (not leaving it in the glove box, for example), and using The Club so they can't drive off with my car.

Thus, this morning, I find my car with the passenger window smashed and the glove box contents on the floor. So what's the lesson here?

1. Yes, it's a good idea to take the faceplate, since if I hadn't my new stereo would be gone again.
2. Should I just leave the doors unlocked and still use the club? At least that way they won't break the windows when they rifle through my car? I'm not sure if I want bums sleeping in my car though.
3. I could afford a fuckload of taxis and rental cars (and a sweet bike) for the amount it's costing me to park on the street.
   

Coraline - go see it!

Saw "Coraline" last night with Sparky. It's the first of these newfangled 3D movies I've seen in a theater. And I have to say, I think it was the best animated movie I have ever seen, period. Totally fantastic!

While the animation was completely breathtaking (especially the glass/window effects, the awesome kitty, and the Russian mouse circus), what made it so great was the fantastic dreamworld writing. It's based on a Neil Gaiman novel, and the story was simply engrossing -- a huge departure from the Disney drivel with the heavy-handed family morals every single time. I still cringe when people tell me they liked The Incredibles -- families everywhere are going to be scarred forever from that movie, just you wait.

Anyway, go catch Coraline if you get a chance! It's fantastic.

Van Ness BRT

StreetsBlog has posted a story about the Van Ness bus project we've been working on. The article is moderately interesting, or you can just skip to the fun part and watch our simulation/info video below! I added the music all by myself. :-)

I'm just not that into you

A quick roundup of the weekend's events --

Friday night, Sparky and I went to "5th Floor" a very swanky restaurant downtown. I think we were there for almost four hours, since we got the chef's tasting menu which meant course after course of fancy food paired with wines. It was easily the best meal I've had in ages, and certainly one of the best I've ever had. Pretty fantastic. This was our big night out instead of going out on overhyped V-D.

Saturday I got my new car stereo all plugged in -- remember my car got stolen about a month ago? Well the new stereo connects wirelessly to my BlackBerry, which means I can now say "Call Suzan" and it will just dial her up through my phone and it comes through the speakers. It is beyond awesome. OK actually Sparky did most of the work wiring it up and connecting everything together, but in my defense I cooked him an awesome dinner for a private little V-D at home that night. I think he's starting to like the Turkish food. :-)

Sunday it was pouring rain like mad all day long, so other than a quick jaunt to the gym and one coffee with friends in the afternoon, it was a great Wii day at home. I really meant to go out into the nightlife at least one night this weekend, but the "horrible" weather kept me home. No complaints!

Monday was Divorce Day. My ex came by and we spent almost three hours going over our joint taxes and all the forms we need to fill out to make our divorce legal. Ah yes, all you gay-marriage proponents -- don't be surprised when lawyers want $2500 to file this form, this form, this form, this form, this form, this form, this form, this form, this form, this form, and this form for you to make the breakup legit. Heading over to City Hall at lunch today to drop off the paperwork.

I guess "I'm just not that into you" isn't enough any more...

The Billy Stimulus Plan!

YAY -- I just sent out two job offer letters for new staff at work. It's great to be able to hire two people now, in the middle of so many layoffs amongst my friends and peers. I now know at least six people personally who have been laid off this winter, and I fear more are coming. So, while I can't give everybody out there a job, it's still great to know that my agency is able to fill some empty positions right now. One of my hires is also a person who might have a lot of trouble getting hired in less open environments, so it's a particularly good feeling.

Now let's hope they both get lots of work done and make my life easier this spring!

Sick kitty

Sparky's cat was seriously sick all weekend, sorry for the lack of Billy updates. We still don't know what exactly happened; all I know is that Friday night after hanging out with Paul and Michael, we got back to Sparky's pad and the cat was screaming bloody murder, couldn't walk or stand up straight, and was clearly hallucinating. I spent most of Saturday in the kitty emergency room, and then had to help Sparky all weekend with with sub-cutaneous saline injections for dehydration, and carrying the cat from the couch to the kitty box. That cat sure got a lot of attention this weekend.

Sparky was a bit worked up over the whole incident but I think he'll pull through, too. :-) I think if it had been my cat I would have been a wreck. The whole thing did remind me of Mom telling Suzan, when her kitty was racking up veterinary bills, "Oh, just get another one."

Cooking Blog

I know I promised not to blog about cooking, but.....

...last night I made the best brussels sprouts I've ever created. This time they were cut in half, blanched, and then quick-sautéed with strips of pancetta, and just a touch of parmesan on top. I only wish I had taken a picture to show you!

This more than made up for yesterday's arrival of the California Secretary of State's rejection of my domestic partnership termination papers. I was hoping I'd actually be able to sneak through the process without a lawyer, but no luck there. So.... I'm going to have to lawyer up and do it right. Oh well, I guess that's why they call it divorce. The good news is, it's taking less and less time and emotional energy to deal with the divorce chores, which leaves a lot more time and energy for fun stuff like cooking!

Never Blog Angry

It turns out that even if you (or I) delete a post within moments of publishing it, Google Reader and other aggregation sites will pick it up and broadcast it. So the golden rule of blogging, which I learned well before I even started blogging, applies even more strongly than I realized. Never blog angry! Enough said.

This weekend was amazing. I didn't get to see as much of Charlie and Jim from Seattle as I would have liked, but we did manage to have a lot of fun at Spork in the Mission. Spork is a remodeled Kentucky Fried Chicken that is now the latest, hippest addition to the funky Mission restaurant scene. It was a bit over the top, but a great time. Saturday, Sparky helped me get my new Lutron dimmer switches installed in my apartment — one step closer to fully moved in!! — and then a rockin' game night with Zabe, Tom, and Darren. I was utterly humiliated in our game of Bang! since I misread my cards and thought I was trying to save the Sheriff when, in fact, I was playing the outlaw. Oops. Every time we play that damn game, somebody screws it up and this time it was me! How embarrassing... ;-)

Superbowl Sunday was loads of fun at Michael's, like every year. I ate and drank way too much but it was nice to have all my peeps meet Sparky and just hang out like normal people. That may not sound like much, but it was really appreciated. OK gotta finish this Van Ness Avenue bus service memo! More soon.

Lots to look forward to.

I'm having a busy weekend again — and I hope everyone out there is, too. My friend Charlie is in town from Seattle (yay!) plus games night tomorrow, plus Michael's annual superbowl party on Sunday. And, Zabe needs help computer shopping on Sunday (yay!)

I wrote up a big long blog entry yesterday, which was posted for about 1 minute and then I deleted it. I briefly forgot that I want to feed the sweet cuddly loving dog, not the barking hyper eats-pillows dog, since I only have enough food to feed one dog. Don't know if anybody caught it, but if you did please delete it from your memory banks!

Have a great one, everyone! xoxo

25 things about me

This virus has been going around Facebook for a while, and I had to write this up to satisfy my sister. But since you're not all watching me there, I figured I'd paste it in here too. These are 25 random things about me and/or my view of the world. Hope you enjoy.
--------------------------

1. Carl Sagan has been my hero ever since elementary school.
2. I have an unnatural fear of being handed scissors.
3. While I’m still frustrated and disappointed that my marriage is over, the truth is I’m much better off without him. As Suzan said so well, “I used to think he was hot; now I just think he’s sweaty.”
4. I like my farts, they smell awesome!
5. Not only do I own a soldering iron, I actually use it.
6. My sisters and I used to sit around wondering why we never met guys that wanted to have sex as frequently as we did. The Charlton Curse. And some things don’t ever change!
7. I love what I do for work, and feel like I’m really changing San Francisco in significant, tangible, positive ways – nothing small about it. It’s a great feeling, even if the day-to-day office work (especially here) can be incredibly grueling.
8. Speaking of work, I really hate the phrase “good enough for government work.” I’ve never worked harder, or with better people, than right now at this agency.
9. Atari > *
10. I’ve never slept with a woman. In fact, I’ve never really seen girly bits up close.
11. While a lot of guys fetishize uncut dicks, I think they’re kinda creepy. Doing my best to learn, though!
12. “Would you like some watermelon?” is my favorite phrase to speak in Turkish. Discovering that I could communicate with strangers in a foreign tongue, albeit poorly, was a sublime moment in life. Karpuz istiyor musun?
13. If I could reinstall a different version of Linux on my computer every day, I would finally be truly happy.
14. For a long time, I forgot how nice it was to hold hands in public. But now I remember!
15. I think every American should live overseas during their twenties. Living in Israel for two years made me finally grow up, and I would never give that experience up. Glad to be home though.
16. If I have a next life, I want to come back as a Black woman with attitude and fabulous hair – which I can change every three days.
17. But, I don’t really believe in a next life, or any sort of fantasy sugarcandy heaven in the clouds, which is why I have to make this life as great as possible. We’re all stuck in this together, let’s enjoy it.
18. I never thought I’d be dating at the age of 39, but here I am doing it and it’s not nearly as bad as I thought it was going to be. In fact it’s pretty fun, so far.
19. Downhill skiing is quite possibly the worst vacation activity ever. Hurling toward large trees on an icy slope in blizzard conditions? I feel that way at work already! Why would I want more stress on vacation?
20. I remember laughing at a sign I saw at the No on Prop 8 Rally – “The only relationship Gay Marriage will ruin is my own.” I had no idea the prophecy that sign bore!
21. No matter where you are, it’s only as good as the people you’re with. Don’t move for work. Don’t move for money. Go where your friends or family love you.
22. I think the gold crown on my back molar looks like a little shark tooth ready to bite ya. I love it!
23. I think that 25 things is really a lot of things to have to write about yourself. I thought psycho-therapy was bad; this is navel-gazing to the extreme!
24. I am truly thankful that for every dinged pot, there’s a lid that fits.
25. I believe that what goes around comes around, and that the universe has a funny way of evening out the playing field. While nice guys do seem to finish last, I’ve found that the view from the back of the pack is pretty awesome if you catch the light just right.

Sparky...

...sent me roses today! Awwww!!!! :-)

Actually he tried to send them yesterday, since I was having a really crappy day at work. But true to the day's awfulness, the security "cops" in the lobby wouldn't let the delivery guy up since the front desk didn't answer the phone. They wouldn't let the dude deliver flowers. So they arrived today!

If you ask me, that makes this rose smell even sweeter.

Turkish Food!

I absolutely cannot wait for tonight -- my first dinner party at the new pad! We're having my trademark yogurt & mint soup and Hünkar Begendi, which is a lamb and eggplant dish which translates as "The Sultan Approved". Should be yummy, you should be jealous! :-)

It's so nice to be home again after all that travel. Finally I can cook again, have friends over, get back to the gym, go out every night if I want, and just enjoy everything this fine city has to offer. What's funny is that I just got an invitation to be on an expert review panel in Abu Dhabi of all places. They want to pay me absolutely insane amounts of money to fly there just for Valentine's weekend — I mean really, the money is exorbitant. But I'm going to say no; I'd just rather stay home right now. Even if it is rainy and dark out today, it's home.

Wake-up Call

Yesterday was finally the day for my wake-up call at work.

The Executive Director came by my desk in the afternoon, which is a rarity and always portends trouble. Apparently he got a call from the Mayor's Office, where they are very concerned that some of our travel model results are behind schedule and they've had trouble communicating with the team. And yes, if it's a travel model problem, it's Billy's Problem.

Now, granted they should have called me directly instead of going to my boss, but the truth is that I have let work take a back seat for weeks and weeks now as I've been focusing on pretty much everything else except work: my move to the new apartment, the TRB conference, vacation in San Diego, Facebook, boys, more boys... you get the idea. While everyone here in the office was willing to pick up a little bit of slack because of the big boo-hoo breakup, the time has long-since past that that's okay, especially for somebody with my level of responsibilities.

So, yesterday was the last day of that. I cleared out my email, moved all the piles off my desk and into a "to be processed" pile, finally listened to 27 saved voicemail messages, and got off my ass. And the big surprise? Things aren't really in bad shape at all; it just took a teeny tiny bit of effort.

It doesn't take much, but it does take something. Lesson learned.

Beach weather and Obamatini time!

2009 just keeps getting better. Obama Day has finally arrived and not a moment too soon; last night Sparky and I had our Obama Tomorrow Tinis to celebrate Bush's Last Day, and I think it may have been the best excuse for a martini ever.

This past weekend was filled with fun, actually. I got to see Corkle-san and Eliot's new pad, which is fantastic — they have a private rooftop garden and deck with an enormous view of the city. I'm so glad they're here and can't wait to do more with them. The rental furniture's got to go, though! Soon the crate from Japan will arrive, we hope.

On a deeper note though, things in my head seem much clearer since my return from Washington. That trip finally did for me what the roadtrip two weeks ago started: I think I'm just about done feeling sorry for myself about the big breakup. I'm sure I'll still have days when I'm thinking about things too much, but for the most part I'm pretty O.K. with where I've ended up and it sure seems like things happen for a reason and always work out for the best. At least for me!

But back to more shallow things! Yesterday was also a great beach day. Sorry you east-coasters reading this, but while you were in the snow out there, I managed to spend the entire day on the beach eating cheese sandwiches and sea salt potato chips with Sparky.

But I swear I'm not rubbing it in, promise! :-) We'll pay for it when we're having a severe drought later this summer.

65 ain't 80

But it ain't 20 either. Back in San Francisco, and it's sunny and mild, just like it's supposed to be. I guess last week's heatwave was bookended by my flights to and from D.C., so I'll have to wait a bit for beach day. Oh well — it's still better than being in 15-20 degree weather and wind.

Last night I got my AV system 100% all put together, so I can finally race my sisters and nieces on Wii Mario Kart over the internet. For some reason I'm in a state of euphoria today, too — I have no idea if it's just being back home after two long trips away, or the good conversation I had w/my Ex a few days ago sinking in, or just all the possibilities for this year now before me.

Or maybe it was just a really fun night at my own pad last night, and lots more to come!

Uncle Mus

(pronounced "Moose" for you non-Turks out there)

Warning, schmaltzy post ahead.

My uncle Mustafa moved to the USA when I was probably five years old. The circumstances under which he came here were never quite clear to me, and my family prizes its secrets like crown jewels so I'll probably never know, but it definitely had something to do with avoiding military service in Turkey. The early 1970s were not a good time to be in the Turkish military, with a few military coups and the Greek/Cyprus war right around the corner.

Musy stayed in the attic room of our house for what seemed like years and he was always around when I was growing up. As I got older, he moved out but was still in the area; he was the guy who was in our driveway, changing his oil or adjusting the spark plugs in his little Datsun and later a teeny Nissan sports car. He got pretty good with fixing our toilets and scraping barnacles off Dad's boat, too. He taught me to drive stick in that Nissan; I guess you could call him a guy's guy.

Mus was never lucky with the ladies, though. His first wife ran off with a plumber after just a few months; his second wife... hmmm I guess more secrets because I don't know exactly what drove them apart but they divorced too. He pretty much laid off women for a few decades after that, and told me when I was seventeen (in the driveway, while changing his oil — really) that I should stay away from women forever because they would steal everything I cared about and ruin my life. Of course at that point I already knew I was gay even if he didn't, so I figured this was pretty good advice and that Uncle Mus had all the answers.

But you just never know where love is going to turn up, and about five years ago, at sixty, Mus finally found his true love. Mus and Kaslyn adopted a baby girl who is now four. Right now I'm at their house amongst idyllic horse stables in the distant Virginia ex-urbs of Washington, D.C. and it's so great to see them here living out their dreams. Mus has had lots of health issues the past year or two so it feels extra special to be able to spend my last night here with them before I head back to San Francisco tomorrow morning.

Uncle Mus taught me a lot about what being a strong, stable guy in the face of adversity is all about. I wish him and Kas the best, of course, and their story gives me lots of hope for my own future too. I'll always love Uncle Mus.

The best part of the TRB conference

is hooking up with long lost friends. It's only Monday night and I've already managed to have drinks with Charlie, Maren, Jay, Jeff, and Susie. I haven't seen Susie in years! Yay!!!

Washington, D.C.

As I do every year, I am at the "TRB" Transportation Research Board conference in Washington for a week in January. I have been coming to this conference since 1991, back when I had just graduated from Cornell. At this point I know so many people here it's just ridiculous. TRB is always fun but last year I sorta overdid it with too many presentations, so this time I'm pulling back and just listening in on the sessions and hooking up with old friends.

Also, since family still live around D.C., I was treated to an insanely fun black-tie Casino Night last night. I lost all my chips but had a great time trying to keep up with the high rollers. Poor Dad was the first to lose everything at the Blackjack tables, which has added irony if you've ever seen his personally-written "Better Blackjack" pamphlet on how to win big at the game.

So, I'll be here through Thursday, and after this trip I don't think there is any more travel in my near future. I was a bit worn out from my last trip just a week ago, so by the time this one's over I'm really going to be looking forward to just staying home and enjoying my awesome apartment and friends in San Francisco. I hear the weather finally improved the moment I left, too -- sheesh!

I like Sparky

Sparky can fix your Mach 5 in the middle of a race. He can fix your wireless router too, and set up HDMI cabling for your flatscreen, all while drinking Irish Carbombs!

Sparky would probably let you puke in the backseat of his car, if you really needed to. (Well, if he had his own car.)

Everyone needs a Sparky.

Yet another week in the life...

This week: (1) my Ex told me he's now dating the one guy that... oh, never mind it's just too complicated to explain; suffice it to say I'm more and more glad he's gone. (2) My car was stolen from right in front of my house; (3) the car came back, stereo ripped out of the dashboard; (4) I signed the California Termination of Domestic Partnership papers with the Ex.

Not sure what next week is going to bring while I'm in D.C. but I bet it won't be half as exciting as this week has been! Good lord.

Oh, and go see Slumdog Millionaire if you haven't caught it yet. Saw it with Sparky and Corkle-san last night and it was awesome!

New Years 2009

And what a whirlwind it's been. I can only hope that 2009 continues on the great streak that it's starting with. Oh, and I hope that 2008 has an ashen stake driven through its withered heart — never to look back ever again. Alrighty and with that, here's a wrap-up of the holidays and my big road trip!

Xmas

Xmas was really tough this year; not surprising since there's so much cultural pressure to be interminably happy and with close friends and family the whole time. As usual, many of my friends went away to visit relatives far away; and the ones that remained were almost without exception pretty sketchy this year. Christmas Eve was a really dreary evening at home, alone, moping, and woeful, until Jay texted me and we realized we were both doing nothing. He was supposed to be at a party with his new roommate and roommate's boyfriend, but lost his cell phone and didn't know where the party was. In a strange only-in-San-Francisco twist of events, it turned out I knew the couple -- Fred and Thomas, who were good friends with my Ex!! — and I ended up having a fantastic evening at Fred's house, staying up until 1am just enjoying the company of new friends.

Xmas itself was weird too; I think no one knew who to invite for an Xmas party because of the divorce; so, nothing big happened and instead Tom and Darren had me over for the day, while Michael had most of my other friends and the Ex in his apartment *downstairs*. Which meant that, while the day at Tom's was really fun, it was peppered with my Ex's booming laugh from downstairs every hour or so. Very strange. Actually the best part of the evening was watching ShowGirls for the first time. What an awful movie and I can't wait to see it again.

Birthday

My birthday was much easier and much more fun. Cocktail hour / housewarming at my house was really great; again, not many people are ever in town for my birthday but I had a great time with the ones that were able to make it. Afterwards we traipsed into the Castro for some drinks, and being my birthday it was hard to resist the shots from every bartender in town. This was trouBle, especially since I was supposed to drive eight hours the next day! But worth it. Apparently I shouted some epithets at my Ex at 1am as I was jumping into a cab. Hopefully no permanent damage done — Yay, I'm 39 now!

Road Trip Part I - San Diego

So Saturday the 27th, I cleaned up the party carcass best I could, synced my new iPod, hopped in my car, and drove south on the I-5. I pulled into San Diego around 9pm and met my friend Rick for drinks. We went to Pecs — do any of you watch Top Chef? The big bear dude that got kicked off on episode 3 this season is a bartender there. Yummy!!

Sunday through Tuesday we did all sorts of SoCal adventures. Rick hooked me up with a bunch of his friends down there and we all got in as much trouble as possible. It was really sunny and warm so I managed to sneak in a beach day, a bunch of frolicking at local watering holes, and lots of time with Rick and his two daughters. It was super relaxing and great fun. I even had the worst gay cliche moment EVER, when a guy waved at me from across a crowded bar, and I didn't recognize him but figured what the heck and went over to say hi. He apologized and told me he was trying to get the attention of the guy behind me.... ouch!! So, the universe still knows how to keep my conceit in check. I am now truly living the mostly unfabulous life of Ethan Greene, if any of you remember that comic strip.

Road Trip Part II - Palm Springs

And then off to Palm Springs for New Years Eve at Christina's glamorous house. She's the one with the huge pool, jacuzzi, and a private Casita for guests. Cocktails in the big house followed by a night out on the town, where I was hit on by a pornstar couple — YIKES I think I'll pass on that for right now, thank you — and then back to the house for relaxing by the pool and hot tub. It was not the wildest New Years Eve but it was certainly a great time with good friends. Sweet.

New Years Day I managed to nurse my hangover pretty well and we even did a quite grueling hike in the mountains just above the city. Later that day I met up with Srinu (yes, from Cornell! He lives in PS now) and his boyfriend Christopher and we had a hilarious night out at Wangs, the Chinese restaurant / gay bar (strange combination) followed by more trouble at the bars. Srinu looks like a million bucks, the desert air must be good for him... I want to know his doctor.

San Francisco

But all vacations do come to an end, so after Palm Springs I felt like I had done what I set out to do — a week away from my complicated life at home, just hanging out with good friends and following my nose. I originally planned on visiting another friend who's now in Long Beach on the return trip, but by Friday I was pretty much beat from all the good times and just hit the I-5 and came straight home.

The good news is, recent arrival Sparky was also back in town early, so we did the town up a bit over the weekend too. I'm not sure how he managed to get me to hike to the top of Twin Peaks on Saturday, but he did. He also helped me do some big-box shopping on Sunday as I continue to settle into my new pad; this time I found an A/V stand for the electronics and some long-overdue new sheets & towels from Bloodbath. One In-n-Out Burger with onion & cheese fries, and one unbelievable pizza later, and my vacation finally wound down just in time for a good night's sleep before heading back to work today.

Thus ends the longest blog post ever. The blow-by-blow was a bit long-winded, yes, but the meta message is pretty clear: I needed an awesome trip away, and I think I got just what I wanted.

Where's Billy?

Billy is back!

I'll post the road-trip rundown in just a bit, but wanted everyone to know that I'm back in San Francisco and all is good. That trip was exactly what I hoped for!! Now I need to clear out my work inbox and get some stuff done! More soon.