Lots to look forward to.

I'm having a busy weekend again — and I hope everyone out there is, too. My friend Charlie is in town from Seattle (yay!) plus games night tomorrow, plus Michael's annual superbowl party on Sunday. And, Zabe needs help computer shopping on Sunday (yay!)

I wrote up a big long blog entry yesterday, which was posted for about 1 minute and then I deleted it. I briefly forgot that I want to feed the sweet cuddly loving dog, not the barking hyper eats-pillows dog, since I only have enough food to feed one dog. Don't know if anybody caught it, but if you did please delete it from your memory banks!

Have a great one, everyone! xoxo

25 things about me

This virus has been going around Facebook for a while, and I had to write this up to satisfy my sister. But since you're not all watching me there, I figured I'd paste it in here too. These are 25 random things about me and/or my view of the world. Hope you enjoy.
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1. Carl Sagan has been my hero ever since elementary school.
2. I have an unnatural fear of being handed scissors.
3. While I’m still frustrated and disappointed that my marriage is over, the truth is I’m much better off without him. As Suzan said so well, “I used to think he was hot; now I just think he’s sweaty.”
4. I like my farts, they smell awesome!
5. Not only do I own a soldering iron, I actually use it.
6. My sisters and I used to sit around wondering why we never met guys that wanted to have sex as frequently as we did. The Charlton Curse. And some things don’t ever change!
7. I love what I do for work, and feel like I’m really changing San Francisco in significant, tangible, positive ways – nothing small about it. It’s a great feeling, even if the day-to-day office work (especially here) can be incredibly grueling.
8. Speaking of work, I really hate the phrase “good enough for government work.” I’ve never worked harder, or with better people, than right now at this agency.
9. Atari > *
10. I’ve never slept with a woman. In fact, I’ve never really seen girly bits up close.
11. While a lot of guys fetishize uncut dicks, I think they’re kinda creepy. Doing my best to learn, though!
12. “Would you like some watermelon?” is my favorite phrase to speak in Turkish. Discovering that I could communicate with strangers in a foreign tongue, albeit poorly, was a sublime moment in life. Karpuz istiyor musun?
13. If I could reinstall a different version of Linux on my computer every day, I would finally be truly happy.
14. For a long time, I forgot how nice it was to hold hands in public. But now I remember!
15. I think every American should live overseas during their twenties. Living in Israel for two years made me finally grow up, and I would never give that experience up. Glad to be home though.
16. If I have a next life, I want to come back as a Black woman with attitude and fabulous hair – which I can change every three days.
17. But, I don’t really believe in a next life, or any sort of fantasy sugarcandy heaven in the clouds, which is why I have to make this life as great as possible. We’re all stuck in this together, let’s enjoy it.
18. I never thought I’d be dating at the age of 39, but here I am doing it and it’s not nearly as bad as I thought it was going to be. In fact it’s pretty fun, so far.
19. Downhill skiing is quite possibly the worst vacation activity ever. Hurling toward large trees on an icy slope in blizzard conditions? I feel that way at work already! Why would I want more stress on vacation?
20. I remember laughing at a sign I saw at the No on Prop 8 Rally – “The only relationship Gay Marriage will ruin is my own.” I had no idea the prophecy that sign bore!
21. No matter where you are, it’s only as good as the people you’re with. Don’t move for work. Don’t move for money. Go where your friends or family love you.
22. I think the gold crown on my back molar looks like a little shark tooth ready to bite ya. I love it!
23. I think that 25 things is really a lot of things to have to write about yourself. I thought psycho-therapy was bad; this is navel-gazing to the extreme!
24. I am truly thankful that for every dinged pot, there’s a lid that fits.
25. I believe that what goes around comes around, and that the universe has a funny way of evening out the playing field. While nice guys do seem to finish last, I’ve found that the view from the back of the pack is pretty awesome if you catch the light just right.

Sparky...

...sent me roses today! Awwww!!!! :-)

Actually he tried to send them yesterday, since I was having a really crappy day at work. But true to the day's awfulness, the security "cops" in the lobby wouldn't let the delivery guy up since the front desk didn't answer the phone. They wouldn't let the dude deliver flowers. So they arrived today!

If you ask me, that makes this rose smell even sweeter.

Turkish Food!

I absolutely cannot wait for tonight -- my first dinner party at the new pad! We're having my trademark yogurt & mint soup and Hünkar Begendi, which is a lamb and eggplant dish which translates as "The Sultan Approved". Should be yummy, you should be jealous! :-)

It's so nice to be home again after all that travel. Finally I can cook again, have friends over, get back to the gym, go out every night if I want, and just enjoy everything this fine city has to offer. What's funny is that I just got an invitation to be on an expert review panel in Abu Dhabi of all places. They want to pay me absolutely insane amounts of money to fly there just for Valentine's weekend — I mean really, the money is exorbitant. But I'm going to say no; I'd just rather stay home right now. Even if it is rainy and dark out today, it's home.

Wake-up Call

Yesterday was finally the day for my wake-up call at work.

The Executive Director came by my desk in the afternoon, which is a rarity and always portends trouble. Apparently he got a call from the Mayor's Office, where they are very concerned that some of our travel model results are behind schedule and they've had trouble communicating with the team. And yes, if it's a travel model problem, it's Billy's Problem.

Now, granted they should have called me directly instead of going to my boss, but the truth is that I have let work take a back seat for weeks and weeks now as I've been focusing on pretty much everything else except work: my move to the new apartment, the TRB conference, vacation in San Diego, Facebook, boys, more boys... you get the idea. While everyone here in the office was willing to pick up a little bit of slack because of the big boo-hoo breakup, the time has long-since past that that's okay, especially for somebody with my level of responsibilities.

So, yesterday was the last day of that. I cleared out my email, moved all the piles off my desk and into a "to be processed" pile, finally listened to 27 saved voicemail messages, and got off my ass. And the big surprise? Things aren't really in bad shape at all; it just took a teeny tiny bit of effort.

It doesn't take much, but it does take something. Lesson learned.

Beach weather and Obamatini time!

2009 just keeps getting better. Obama Day has finally arrived and not a moment too soon; last night Sparky and I had our Obama Tomorrow Tinis to celebrate Bush's Last Day, and I think it may have been the best excuse for a martini ever.

This past weekend was filled with fun, actually. I got to see Corkle-san and Eliot's new pad, which is fantastic — they have a private rooftop garden and deck with an enormous view of the city. I'm so glad they're here and can't wait to do more with them. The rental furniture's got to go, though! Soon the crate from Japan will arrive, we hope.

On a deeper note though, things in my head seem much clearer since my return from Washington. That trip finally did for me what the roadtrip two weeks ago started: I think I'm just about done feeling sorry for myself about the big breakup. I'm sure I'll still have days when I'm thinking about things too much, but for the most part I'm pretty O.K. with where I've ended up and it sure seems like things happen for a reason and always work out for the best. At least for me!

But back to more shallow things! Yesterday was also a great beach day. Sorry you east-coasters reading this, but while you were in the snow out there, I managed to spend the entire day on the beach eating cheese sandwiches and sea salt potato chips with Sparky.

But I swear I'm not rubbing it in, promise! :-) We'll pay for it when we're having a severe drought later this summer.

65 ain't 80

But it ain't 20 either. Back in San Francisco, and it's sunny and mild, just like it's supposed to be. I guess last week's heatwave was bookended by my flights to and from D.C., so I'll have to wait a bit for beach day. Oh well — it's still better than being in 15-20 degree weather and wind.

Last night I got my AV system 100% all put together, so I can finally race my sisters and nieces on Wii Mario Kart over the internet. For some reason I'm in a state of euphoria today, too — I have no idea if it's just being back home after two long trips away, or the good conversation I had w/my Ex a few days ago sinking in, or just all the possibilities for this year now before me.

Or maybe it was just a really fun night at my own pad last night, and lots more to come!

Uncle Mus

(pronounced "Moose" for you non-Turks out there)

Warning, schmaltzy post ahead.

My uncle Mustafa moved to the USA when I was probably five years old. The circumstances under which he came here were never quite clear to me, and my family prizes its secrets like crown jewels so I'll probably never know, but it definitely had something to do with avoiding military service in Turkey. The early 1970s were not a good time to be in the Turkish military, with a few military coups and the Greek/Cyprus war right around the corner.

Musy stayed in the attic room of our house for what seemed like years and he was always around when I was growing up. As I got older, he moved out but was still in the area; he was the guy who was in our driveway, changing his oil or adjusting the spark plugs in his little Datsun and later a teeny Nissan sports car. He got pretty good with fixing our toilets and scraping barnacles off Dad's boat, too. He taught me to drive stick in that Nissan; I guess you could call him a guy's guy.

Mus was never lucky with the ladies, though. His first wife ran off with a plumber after just a few months; his second wife... hmmm I guess more secrets because I don't know exactly what drove them apart but they divorced too. He pretty much laid off women for a few decades after that, and told me when I was seventeen (in the driveway, while changing his oil — really) that I should stay away from women forever because they would steal everything I cared about and ruin my life. Of course at that point I already knew I was gay even if he didn't, so I figured this was pretty good advice and that Uncle Mus had all the answers.

But you just never know where love is going to turn up, and about five years ago, at sixty, Mus finally found his true love. Mus and Kaslyn adopted a baby girl who is now four. Right now I'm at their house amongst idyllic horse stables in the distant Virginia ex-urbs of Washington, D.C. and it's so great to see them here living out their dreams. Mus has had lots of health issues the past year or two so it feels extra special to be able to spend my last night here with them before I head back to San Francisco tomorrow morning.

Uncle Mus taught me a lot about what being a strong, stable guy in the face of adversity is all about. I wish him and Kas the best, of course, and their story gives me lots of hope for my own future too. I'll always love Uncle Mus.

The best part of the TRB conference

is hooking up with long lost friends. It's only Monday night and I've already managed to have drinks with Charlie, Maren, Jay, Jeff, and Susie. I haven't seen Susie in years! Yay!!!

Washington, D.C.

As I do every year, I am at the "TRB" Transportation Research Board conference in Washington for a week in January. I have been coming to this conference since 1991, back when I had just graduated from Cornell. At this point I know so many people here it's just ridiculous. TRB is always fun but last year I sorta overdid it with too many presentations, so this time I'm pulling back and just listening in on the sessions and hooking up with old friends.

Also, since family still live around D.C., I was treated to an insanely fun black-tie Casino Night last night. I lost all my chips but had a great time trying to keep up with the high rollers. Poor Dad was the first to lose everything at the Blackjack tables, which has added irony if you've ever seen his personally-written "Better Blackjack" pamphlet on how to win big at the game.

So, I'll be here through Thursday, and after this trip I don't think there is any more travel in my near future. I was a bit worn out from my last trip just a week ago, so by the time this one's over I'm really going to be looking forward to just staying home and enjoying my awesome apartment and friends in San Francisco. I hear the weather finally improved the moment I left, too -- sheesh!

I like Sparky

Sparky can fix your Mach 5 in the middle of a race. He can fix your wireless router too, and set up HDMI cabling for your flatscreen, all while drinking Irish Carbombs!

Sparky would probably let you puke in the backseat of his car, if you really needed to. (Well, if he had his own car.)

Everyone needs a Sparky.

Yet another week in the life...

This week: (1) my Ex told me he's now dating the one guy that... oh, never mind it's just too complicated to explain; suffice it to say I'm more and more glad he's gone. (2) My car was stolen from right in front of my house; (3) the car came back, stereo ripped out of the dashboard; (4) I signed the California Termination of Domestic Partnership papers with the Ex.

Not sure what next week is going to bring while I'm in D.C. but I bet it won't be half as exciting as this week has been! Good lord.

Oh, and go see Slumdog Millionaire if you haven't caught it yet. Saw it with Sparky and Corkle-san last night and it was awesome!

New Years 2009

And what a whirlwind it's been. I can only hope that 2009 continues on the great streak that it's starting with. Oh, and I hope that 2008 has an ashen stake driven through its withered heart — never to look back ever again. Alrighty and with that, here's a wrap-up of the holidays and my big road trip!

Xmas

Xmas was really tough this year; not surprising since there's so much cultural pressure to be interminably happy and with close friends and family the whole time. As usual, many of my friends went away to visit relatives far away; and the ones that remained were almost without exception pretty sketchy this year. Christmas Eve was a really dreary evening at home, alone, moping, and woeful, until Jay texted me and we realized we were both doing nothing. He was supposed to be at a party with his new roommate and roommate's boyfriend, but lost his cell phone and didn't know where the party was. In a strange only-in-San-Francisco twist of events, it turned out I knew the couple -- Fred and Thomas, who were good friends with my Ex!! — and I ended up having a fantastic evening at Fred's house, staying up until 1am just enjoying the company of new friends.

Xmas itself was weird too; I think no one knew who to invite for an Xmas party because of the divorce; so, nothing big happened and instead Tom and Darren had me over for the day, while Michael had most of my other friends and the Ex in his apartment *downstairs*. Which meant that, while the day at Tom's was really fun, it was peppered with my Ex's booming laugh from downstairs every hour or so. Very strange. Actually the best part of the evening was watching ShowGirls for the first time. What an awful movie and I can't wait to see it again.

Birthday

My birthday was much easier and much more fun. Cocktail hour / housewarming at my house was really great; again, not many people are ever in town for my birthday but I had a great time with the ones that were able to make it. Afterwards we traipsed into the Castro for some drinks, and being my birthday it was hard to resist the shots from every bartender in town. This was trouBle, especially since I was supposed to drive eight hours the next day! But worth it. Apparently I shouted some epithets at my Ex at 1am as I was jumping into a cab. Hopefully no permanent damage done — Yay, I'm 39 now!

Road Trip Part I - San Diego

So Saturday the 27th, I cleaned up the party carcass best I could, synced my new iPod, hopped in my car, and drove south on the I-5. I pulled into San Diego around 9pm and met my friend Rick for drinks. We went to Pecs — do any of you watch Top Chef? The big bear dude that got kicked off on episode 3 this season is a bartender there. Yummy!!

Sunday through Tuesday we did all sorts of SoCal adventures. Rick hooked me up with a bunch of his friends down there and we all got in as much trouble as possible. It was really sunny and warm so I managed to sneak in a beach day, a bunch of frolicking at local watering holes, and lots of time with Rick and his two daughters. It was super relaxing and great fun. I even had the worst gay cliche moment EVER, when a guy waved at me from across a crowded bar, and I didn't recognize him but figured what the heck and went over to say hi. He apologized and told me he was trying to get the attention of the guy behind me.... ouch!! So, the universe still knows how to keep my conceit in check. I am now truly living the mostly unfabulous life of Ethan Greene, if any of you remember that comic strip.

Road Trip Part II - Palm Springs

And then off to Palm Springs for New Years Eve at Christina's glamorous house. She's the one with the huge pool, jacuzzi, and a private Casita for guests. Cocktails in the big house followed by a night out on the town, where I was hit on by a pornstar couple — YIKES I think I'll pass on that for right now, thank you — and then back to the house for relaxing by the pool and hot tub. It was not the wildest New Years Eve but it was certainly a great time with good friends. Sweet.

New Years Day I managed to nurse my hangover pretty well and we even did a quite grueling hike in the mountains just above the city. Later that day I met up with Srinu (yes, from Cornell! He lives in PS now) and his boyfriend Christopher and we had a hilarious night out at Wangs, the Chinese restaurant / gay bar (strange combination) followed by more trouble at the bars. Srinu looks like a million bucks, the desert air must be good for him... I want to know his doctor.

San Francisco

But all vacations do come to an end, so after Palm Springs I felt like I had done what I set out to do — a week away from my complicated life at home, just hanging out with good friends and following my nose. I originally planned on visiting another friend who's now in Long Beach on the return trip, but by Friday I was pretty much beat from all the good times and just hit the I-5 and came straight home.

The good news is, recent arrival Sparky was also back in town early, so we did the town up a bit over the weekend too. I'm not sure how he managed to get me to hike to the top of Twin Peaks on Saturday, but he did. He also helped me do some big-box shopping on Sunday as I continue to settle into my new pad; this time I found an A/V stand for the electronics and some long-overdue new sheets & towels from Bloodbath. One In-n-Out Burger with onion & cheese fries, and one unbelievable pizza later, and my vacation finally wound down just in time for a good night's sleep before heading back to work today.

Thus ends the longest blog post ever. The blow-by-blow was a bit long-winded, yes, but the meta message is pretty clear: I needed an awesome trip away, and I think I got just what I wanted.

Where's Billy?

Billy is back!

I'll post the road-trip rundown in just a bit, but wanted everyone to know that I'm back in San Francisco and all is good. That trip was exactly what I hoped for!! Now I need to clear out my work inbox and get some stuff done! More soon.