Complicated Friendships

John's post on friendship got me thinking a bit over the past few days. I now basically have two separate sets of friends: (1) people I know from my own independent efforts, whether that be from the deep past, from work, or more recent acquaintances; and (2) people that I met either during or because of my marriage.

It's probably no surprise that the set of friends from the married era are the most complicated personal relationships in my life right now. They are tortured because things are now "so different" and they feel that the burden is on them to balance time and social engagements between me and my ex. It's funny; since they do such a good job of fretting over this, I never see what they go through and only see the results (and the results are that I frequently get to hang out with them and do fun things, and occasionally I am subjected to complete radio silence for a day or two when they're too embarrassed to let me know that they're hanging out with my ex.)

It's been almost six months now since our divorce. I think that's long enough that they really need to stop worrying about it; I certainly have. The opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference. At this point, I don't particularly care if I do or don't see my ex when I'm out socially. That isn't to say there won't still be some awkward moments in the future, because I'm sure those will still occur. Can't avoid that. But it has only as much energy as people give it: I do hope my friends from that era really hear me saying that they don't need to keep doing this. I love them too much to see them suffer.

Happy Easter!

What a fantastic day in the park yesterday. Hope y'all had as much fun as I did! Sorry, no pictures though... some things are better left for the memories and not my burning eyes! :-)

How Billy sees San Francisco

I think this image (which I just whipped up at work) explains my new vantage point of this city: it is a big messy pile of steep hills, with some (not so) secret passages connecting the lowlands.

Now that I'm biking everywhere, I find myself constantly wondering what route has the least amount of elevation climb. This is pretty fascinating since I spend all day at work trying to guess how people make travel decisions anyway; now, there seem to be some new variables entering the equations. If you're driving you don't much care about hills unless you're driving stick and you can't get up the Divisadero Street climb from Lombard without crushing the little green Honda behind you. But on a bike, suddenly about half the city seems pretty impassable.

I love how the "wiggle" to Golden Gate Park shows up on this map, the finger of green and yellow just north of the central red blob. Now that I've biked it, I finally "get" why those bike routes are so important.

Does your Atari have a USB port?

Mine does. :-)

My recent re-fascination with all things retro Atari has reached a new plateau: I soldered a $14 USB port onto my Atari 800 motherboard, melted a hole in the plastic case for the connector, and — voila! — I can now connect my Atari to my Windows laptop, and the Atari just thinks the laptop is a regular disk drive.

What does this mean? It means that I can now download all the old ROM images off the internet, and play them on my original Atari with the original joysticks! I definitely feel a retro gaming night coming up.

Bike ride!

Wow, just got back from a 19 mile ride on the new bike. Sparky and I went from his place through "the wiggle" to Golden Gate Park, all the way to beach. That part was easy, it's basically all downhill. The way back, around Lake Merced and up over St. Francis Wood, was pretty grueling for a first ride -- 1300 feet of climb according to google maps. Ouch.

But, I made it the entire way without walking the bike, and other than a sugar crash in Glen Park which required an immediate injection of beef jerky and Coca Cola, the ride went without a hitch. And what a gorgeous day to be out there all afternoon!!

I love spring.

Sonoma for the weekend....

I'm heading up to Sonoma County for the weekend to test out my new bike on the redwood and bohemian highways. The past two weeks have been unusually packed with late nights at the office and even some work on the weekends, so the blog has gotten boring and the Billy has gotten cranky! This weekend trip should fix both problems.

I'll be heading up to Guerneville with Sparky, and we're going to bicycle either to Occidental or to Sebastopol for the amazing Mexican food at my favorite restaurant up there. Or, we might skip the long rides entirely and just fart around town and hike through the redwood forest at Armstrong Woods... it's supposed to be fantastically gorgeous and warm this weekend, so I don't really care what we do as long as it's outside, nowhere near a computer, and filled with tall trees. Yay, road trip!

Awesomest employee evar!

LOL! I got a framed plaque at work today for creating our new timesheet system — I don't think I've ever gotten an employee appreciation award anywhere before. How cute!

I am now in the running for most awesomest employee evar. I need a new project!

Springtime!

After such a beautiful week here, it's only fair that springtime start today. I biked into work almost every day this week and spent Wednesday afternoon in the park -- it feels like my weekend started days ago!

Boy am I happy that winter's over!

Billy's Happy Spot

O.M.G. I finally figured out how to merge all our code at work into one mega Git repository. You non-hackers out there must wonder why I would blog about this, but trust me on this one — this is a huge step for my team. Now, all of my staff & consultants can work in parallel on model updates, and I can pull their changes into our main codebase with the flick of my wrist. See that pretty picture? That's six lines of development all converging onto a single, happy spot. That's Billy's Happy Spot!!

It's amazing to me how open-source tools just keep trouncing the competition. Git has made my work life so much easier.

Got my Fixie!

I am the proud owner of a new bicycle!

It's silver, it's fixed-gear (all the rage with the Mission Hipsters these days), and I've already begun commuting on it. No action shots yet but I'll post a picture or two soon. OK it's just a bike, but still... it's mine! I haven't bought a bike new since I lived in Chicago.

Hopefully this means a lot less griping about the Muni underground, too. And a tighter ass too!

Muni Meltdown -- it's back!!

It was too good to be true — a J-Church train with maws open and beckoning at the Van Ness platform. Of course it turned out to be my personal nightmare, a "medical emergency" on the train, which blocked all rail traffic out of the tunnel on all routes, for twenty-five minutes. This emergency was a heroin overdosing woman -- I can spot that look anywhere, after working at Civic Center for six years. When we did finally emerge at the Church Street Safeway, the wires were down over Market Street so it took another ten minutes to go one block. Then the train skipped my own stop for no explicable reason, and I had to walk back (and uphill, waaaah!) from 22nd. Gripe gripe gripe. Stay tuned for a later post on how urban local rail service is designed all wrong (think: no passing lanes!)

The past two days on Muni have been.... exasperating.

Yesterday there was the typical J-line trains coming in 18, 21, and 24 minutes (instead of evenly spaced) on my way to work; and then on the way back there were no J-lines at Van Ness for 18 minutes, and then a delay at Van Ness, so I took the first L-Terrible I could board (which was the fifth train to arrive at the station, due to overcrowding), and then got off at Church and walked all the way to the top of Liberty Hill and I still managed to beat that J-Church train home.

OK, so all this griping has a point. The unreliability problems on Muni would turn even the most ardent transit supporter into a single-occupant car driver. Parking at Civic Center is only $7 per day even at the daily rate, if you hunt around for the right lot. That's a lot cheaper than BART round-trip if you don't live in SF. For those of us who do live here, I know I'm not the only one that really wants to take Muni but is just bludgeoned by the awful user experience (on average, once or twice a week).

Thus, the photo accompanying this blog. This weekend, I am buying a "fixie" single-gear bicycle. I'm going to paint it pastel colors, and I am commuting up this hill with Billy Butt Power from now on. It can't hurt my physique, and I'll know exactly how long my commute takes, every day, from now on. I used to bike a few days a week when I lived in the Castro, before the bike was stolen, but it's been almost a year and it's long past time to get back in the saddle.

Blank

Feeling a bit blank today. On every level you'd think I had a great weekend: saw a show, went dancing until 2am with Sparky, met Nancy Pelosi, hung out with friends, made a fantastic dinner (beef burgundy over egg noodles, with fresh slaw on the side!) But for some reason I woke up this morning feeling a bit hollow. I have no idea why; I guess it's just "one of those days."

I'm going to dive into work for a while and get some stuff done that's been bugging me. I'm hoping that having some accomplishments under my belt will make me feel better.

Or maybe it's this dark weather! I was loving the rain for the past few weeks but perhaps it's time for a serious springtime comeback -- after all, it's March now. I'm ready for some sunshine.

Car broken into again... sigh...

OK so this isn't fun anymore.

Last month, my car was stolen from the block in front of my apartment; it showed up the next day with $200 of parking tickets and a giant hole in the dashboard where my stereo used to be. I had just moved to a place without a garage and wasn't accustomed to pulling the faceplate off my stereo, so hey lesson learned right? Right.

So last weekend, Sparky and I finally got the new kick-ass stereo installed, which I totally love. I've also gotten in the habit of removing the faceplate every time, taking it with me (not leaving it in the glove box, for example), and using The Club so they can't drive off with my car.

Thus, this morning, I find my car with the passenger window smashed and the glove box contents on the floor. So what's the lesson here?

1. Yes, it's a good idea to take the faceplate, since if I hadn't my new stereo would be gone again.
2. Should I just leave the doors unlocked and still use the club? At least that way they won't break the windows when they rifle through my car? I'm not sure if I want bums sleeping in my car though.
3. I could afford a fuckload of taxis and rental cars (and a sweet bike) for the amount it's costing me to park on the street.
   

Coraline - go see it!

Saw "Coraline" last night with Sparky. It's the first of these newfangled 3D movies I've seen in a theater. And I have to say, I think it was the best animated movie I have ever seen, period. Totally fantastic!

While the animation was completely breathtaking (especially the glass/window effects, the awesome kitty, and the Russian mouse circus), what made it so great was the fantastic dreamworld writing. It's based on a Neil Gaiman novel, and the story was simply engrossing -- a huge departure from the Disney drivel with the heavy-handed family morals every single time. I still cringe when people tell me they liked The Incredibles -- families everywhere are going to be scarred forever from that movie, just you wait.

Anyway, go catch Coraline if you get a chance! It's fantastic.

Van Ness BRT

StreetsBlog has posted a story about the Van Ness bus project we've been working on. The article is moderately interesting, or you can just skip to the fun part and watch our simulation/info video below! I added the music all by myself. :-)

I'm just not that into you

A quick roundup of the weekend's events --

Friday night, Sparky and I went to "5th Floor" a very swanky restaurant downtown. I think we were there for almost four hours, since we got the chef's tasting menu which meant course after course of fancy food paired with wines. It was easily the best meal I've had in ages, and certainly one of the best I've ever had. Pretty fantastic. This was our big night out instead of going out on overhyped V-D.

Saturday I got my new car stereo all plugged in -- remember my car got stolen about a month ago? Well the new stereo connects wirelessly to my BlackBerry, which means I can now say "Call Suzan" and it will just dial her up through my phone and it comes through the speakers. It is beyond awesome. OK actually Sparky did most of the work wiring it up and connecting everything together, but in my defense I cooked him an awesome dinner for a private little V-D at home that night. I think he's starting to like the Turkish food. :-)

Sunday it was pouring rain like mad all day long, so other than a quick jaunt to the gym and one coffee with friends in the afternoon, it was a great Wii day at home. I really meant to go out into the nightlife at least one night this weekend, but the "horrible" weather kept me home. No complaints!

Monday was Divorce Day. My ex came by and we spent almost three hours going over our joint taxes and all the forms we need to fill out to make our divorce legal. Ah yes, all you gay-marriage proponents -- don't be surprised when lawyers want $2500 to file this form, this form, this form, this form, this form, this form, this form, this form, this form, this form, and this form for you to make the breakup legit. Heading over to City Hall at lunch today to drop off the paperwork.

I guess "I'm just not that into you" isn't enough any more...

The Billy Stimulus Plan!

YAY -- I just sent out two job offer letters for new staff at work. It's great to be able to hire two people now, in the middle of so many layoffs amongst my friends and peers. I now know at least six people personally who have been laid off this winter, and I fear more are coming. So, while I can't give everybody out there a job, it's still great to know that my agency is able to fill some empty positions right now. One of my hires is also a person who might have a lot of trouble getting hired in less open environments, so it's a particularly good feeling.

Now let's hope they both get lots of work done and make my life easier this spring!

Sick kitty

Sparky's cat was seriously sick all weekend, sorry for the lack of Billy updates. We still don't know what exactly happened; all I know is that Friday night after hanging out with Paul and Michael, we got back to Sparky's pad and the cat was screaming bloody murder, couldn't walk or stand up straight, and was clearly hallucinating. I spent most of Saturday in the kitty emergency room, and then had to help Sparky all weekend with with sub-cutaneous saline injections for dehydration, and carrying the cat from the couch to the kitty box. That cat sure got a lot of attention this weekend.

Sparky was a bit worked up over the whole incident but I think he'll pull through, too. :-) I think if it had been my cat I would have been a wreck. The whole thing did remind me of Mom telling Suzan, when her kitty was racking up veterinary bills, "Oh, just get another one."

Cooking Blog

I know I promised not to blog about cooking, but.....

...last night I made the best brussels sprouts I've ever created. This time they were cut in half, blanched, and then quick-sautéed with strips of pancetta, and just a touch of parmesan on top. I only wish I had taken a picture to show you!

This more than made up for yesterday's arrival of the California Secretary of State's rejection of my domestic partnership termination papers. I was hoping I'd actually be able to sneak through the process without a lawyer, but no luck there. So.... I'm going to have to lawyer up and do it right. Oh well, I guess that's why they call it divorce. The good news is, it's taking less and less time and emotional energy to deal with the divorce chores, which leaves a lot more time and energy for fun stuff like cooking!

Never Blog Angry

It turns out that even if you (or I) delete a post within moments of publishing it, Google Reader and other aggregation sites will pick it up and broadcast it. So the golden rule of blogging, which I learned well before I even started blogging, applies even more strongly than I realized. Never blog angry! Enough said.

This weekend was amazing. I didn't get to see as much of Charlie and Jim from Seattle as I would have liked, but we did manage to have a lot of fun at Spork in the Mission. Spork is a remodeled Kentucky Fried Chicken that is now the latest, hippest addition to the funky Mission restaurant scene. It was a bit over the top, but a great time. Saturday, Sparky helped me get my new Lutron dimmer switches installed in my apartment — one step closer to fully moved in!! — and then a rockin' game night with Zabe, Tom, and Darren. I was utterly humiliated in our game of Bang! since I misread my cards and thought I was trying to save the Sheriff when, in fact, I was playing the outlaw. Oops. Every time we play that damn game, somebody screws it up and this time it was me! How embarrassing... ;-)

Superbowl Sunday was loads of fun at Michael's, like every year. I ate and drank way too much but it was nice to have all my peeps meet Sparky and just hang out like normal people. That may not sound like much, but it was really appreciated. OK gotta finish this Van Ness Avenue bus service memo! More soon.

Lots to look forward to.

I'm having a busy weekend again — and I hope everyone out there is, too. My friend Charlie is in town from Seattle (yay!) plus games night tomorrow, plus Michael's annual superbowl party on Sunday. And, Zabe needs help computer shopping on Sunday (yay!)

I wrote up a big long blog entry yesterday, which was posted for about 1 minute and then I deleted it. I briefly forgot that I want to feed the sweet cuddly loving dog, not the barking hyper eats-pillows dog, since I only have enough food to feed one dog. Don't know if anybody caught it, but if you did please delete it from your memory banks!

Have a great one, everyone! xoxo

25 things about me

This virus has been going around Facebook for a while, and I had to write this up to satisfy my sister. But since you're not all watching me there, I figured I'd paste it in here too. These are 25 random things about me and/or my view of the world. Hope you enjoy.
--------------------------

1. Carl Sagan has been my hero ever since elementary school.
2. I have an unnatural fear of being handed scissors.
3. While I’m still frustrated and disappointed that my marriage is over, the truth is I’m much better off without him. As Suzan said so well, “I used to think he was hot; now I just think he’s sweaty.”
4. I like my farts, they smell awesome!
5. Not only do I own a soldering iron, I actually use it.
6. My sisters and I used to sit around wondering why we never met guys that wanted to have sex as frequently as we did. The Charlton Curse. And some things don’t ever change!
7. I love what I do for work, and feel like I’m really changing San Francisco in significant, tangible, positive ways – nothing small about it. It’s a great feeling, even if the day-to-day office work (especially here) can be incredibly grueling.
8. Speaking of work, I really hate the phrase “good enough for government work.” I’ve never worked harder, or with better people, than right now at this agency.
9. Atari > *
10. I’ve never slept with a woman. In fact, I’ve never really seen girly bits up close.
11. While a lot of guys fetishize uncut dicks, I think they’re kinda creepy. Doing my best to learn, though!
12. “Would you like some watermelon?” is my favorite phrase to speak in Turkish. Discovering that I could communicate with strangers in a foreign tongue, albeit poorly, was a sublime moment in life. Karpuz istiyor musun?
13. If I could reinstall a different version of Linux on my computer every day, I would finally be truly happy.
14. For a long time, I forgot how nice it was to hold hands in public. But now I remember!
15. I think every American should live overseas during their twenties. Living in Israel for two years made me finally grow up, and I would never give that experience up. Glad to be home though.
16. If I have a next life, I want to come back as a Black woman with attitude and fabulous hair – which I can change every three days.
17. But, I don’t really believe in a next life, or any sort of fantasy sugarcandy heaven in the clouds, which is why I have to make this life as great as possible. We’re all stuck in this together, let’s enjoy it.
18. I never thought I’d be dating at the age of 39, but here I am doing it and it’s not nearly as bad as I thought it was going to be. In fact it’s pretty fun, so far.
19. Downhill skiing is quite possibly the worst vacation activity ever. Hurling toward large trees on an icy slope in blizzard conditions? I feel that way at work already! Why would I want more stress on vacation?
20. I remember laughing at a sign I saw at the No on Prop 8 Rally – “The only relationship Gay Marriage will ruin is my own.” I had no idea the prophecy that sign bore!
21. No matter where you are, it’s only as good as the people you’re with. Don’t move for work. Don’t move for money. Go where your friends or family love you.
22. I think the gold crown on my back molar looks like a little shark tooth ready to bite ya. I love it!
23. I think that 25 things is really a lot of things to have to write about yourself. I thought psycho-therapy was bad; this is navel-gazing to the extreme!
24. I am truly thankful that for every dinged pot, there’s a lid that fits.
25. I believe that what goes around comes around, and that the universe has a funny way of evening out the playing field. While nice guys do seem to finish last, I’ve found that the view from the back of the pack is pretty awesome if you catch the light just right.

Sparky...

...sent me roses today! Awwww!!!! :-)

Actually he tried to send them yesterday, since I was having a really crappy day at work. But true to the day's awfulness, the security "cops" in the lobby wouldn't let the delivery guy up since the front desk didn't answer the phone. They wouldn't let the dude deliver flowers. So they arrived today!

If you ask me, that makes this rose smell even sweeter.

Turkish Food!

I absolutely cannot wait for tonight -- my first dinner party at the new pad! We're having my trademark yogurt & mint soup and Hünkar Begendi, which is a lamb and eggplant dish which translates as "The Sultan Approved". Should be yummy, you should be jealous! :-)

It's so nice to be home again after all that travel. Finally I can cook again, have friends over, get back to the gym, go out every night if I want, and just enjoy everything this fine city has to offer. What's funny is that I just got an invitation to be on an expert review panel in Abu Dhabi of all places. They want to pay me absolutely insane amounts of money to fly there just for Valentine's weekend — I mean really, the money is exorbitant. But I'm going to say no; I'd just rather stay home right now. Even if it is rainy and dark out today, it's home.

Wake-up Call

Yesterday was finally the day for my wake-up call at work.

The Executive Director came by my desk in the afternoon, which is a rarity and always portends trouble. Apparently he got a call from the Mayor's Office, where they are very concerned that some of our travel model results are behind schedule and they've had trouble communicating with the team. And yes, if it's a travel model problem, it's Billy's Problem.

Now, granted they should have called me directly instead of going to my boss, but the truth is that I have let work take a back seat for weeks and weeks now as I've been focusing on pretty much everything else except work: my move to the new apartment, the TRB conference, vacation in San Diego, Facebook, boys, more boys... you get the idea. While everyone here in the office was willing to pick up a little bit of slack because of the big boo-hoo breakup, the time has long-since past that that's okay, especially for somebody with my level of responsibilities.

So, yesterday was the last day of that. I cleared out my email, moved all the piles off my desk and into a "to be processed" pile, finally listened to 27 saved voicemail messages, and got off my ass. And the big surprise? Things aren't really in bad shape at all; it just took a teeny tiny bit of effort.

It doesn't take much, but it does take something. Lesson learned.

Beach weather and Obamatini time!

2009 just keeps getting better. Obama Day has finally arrived and not a moment too soon; last night Sparky and I had our Obama Tomorrow Tinis to celebrate Bush's Last Day, and I think it may have been the best excuse for a martini ever.

This past weekend was filled with fun, actually. I got to see Corkle-san and Eliot's new pad, which is fantastic — they have a private rooftop garden and deck with an enormous view of the city. I'm so glad they're here and can't wait to do more with them. The rental furniture's got to go, though! Soon the crate from Japan will arrive, we hope.

On a deeper note though, things in my head seem much clearer since my return from Washington. That trip finally did for me what the roadtrip two weeks ago started: I think I'm just about done feeling sorry for myself about the big breakup. I'm sure I'll still have days when I'm thinking about things too much, but for the most part I'm pretty O.K. with where I've ended up and it sure seems like things happen for a reason and always work out for the best. At least for me!

But back to more shallow things! Yesterday was also a great beach day. Sorry you east-coasters reading this, but while you were in the snow out there, I managed to spend the entire day on the beach eating cheese sandwiches and sea salt potato chips with Sparky.

But I swear I'm not rubbing it in, promise! :-) We'll pay for it when we're having a severe drought later this summer.

65 ain't 80

But it ain't 20 either. Back in San Francisco, and it's sunny and mild, just like it's supposed to be. I guess last week's heatwave was bookended by my flights to and from D.C., so I'll have to wait a bit for beach day. Oh well — it's still better than being in 15-20 degree weather and wind.

Last night I got my AV system 100% all put together, so I can finally race my sisters and nieces on Wii Mario Kart over the internet. For some reason I'm in a state of euphoria today, too — I have no idea if it's just being back home after two long trips away, or the good conversation I had w/my Ex a few days ago sinking in, or just all the possibilities for this year now before me.

Or maybe it was just a really fun night at my own pad last night, and lots more to come!

Uncle Mus

(pronounced "Moose" for you non-Turks out there)

Warning, schmaltzy post ahead.

My uncle Mustafa moved to the USA when I was probably five years old. The circumstances under which he came here were never quite clear to me, and my family prizes its secrets like crown jewels so I'll probably never know, but it definitely had something to do with avoiding military service in Turkey. The early 1970s were not a good time to be in the Turkish military, with a few military coups and the Greek/Cyprus war right around the corner.

Musy stayed in the attic room of our house for what seemed like years and he was always around when I was growing up. As I got older, he moved out but was still in the area; he was the guy who was in our driveway, changing his oil or adjusting the spark plugs in his little Datsun and later a teeny Nissan sports car. He got pretty good with fixing our toilets and scraping barnacles off Dad's boat, too. He taught me to drive stick in that Nissan; I guess you could call him a guy's guy.

Mus was never lucky with the ladies, though. His first wife ran off with a plumber after just a few months; his second wife... hmmm I guess more secrets because I don't know exactly what drove them apart but they divorced too. He pretty much laid off women for a few decades after that, and told me when I was seventeen (in the driveway, while changing his oil — really) that I should stay away from women forever because they would steal everything I cared about and ruin my life. Of course at that point I already knew I was gay even if he didn't, so I figured this was pretty good advice and that Uncle Mus had all the answers.

But you just never know where love is going to turn up, and about five years ago, at sixty, Mus finally found his true love. Mus and Kaslyn adopted a baby girl who is now four. Right now I'm at their house amongst idyllic horse stables in the distant Virginia ex-urbs of Washington, D.C. and it's so great to see them here living out their dreams. Mus has had lots of health issues the past year or two so it feels extra special to be able to spend my last night here with them before I head back to San Francisco tomorrow morning.

Uncle Mus taught me a lot about what being a strong, stable guy in the face of adversity is all about. I wish him and Kas the best, of course, and their story gives me lots of hope for my own future too. I'll always love Uncle Mus.

The best part of the TRB conference

is hooking up with long lost friends. It's only Monday night and I've already managed to have drinks with Charlie, Maren, Jay, Jeff, and Susie. I haven't seen Susie in years! Yay!!!

Washington, D.C.

As I do every year, I am at the "TRB" Transportation Research Board conference in Washington for a week in January. I have been coming to this conference since 1991, back when I had just graduated from Cornell. At this point I know so many people here it's just ridiculous. TRB is always fun but last year I sorta overdid it with too many presentations, so this time I'm pulling back and just listening in on the sessions and hooking up with old friends.

Also, since family still live around D.C., I was treated to an insanely fun black-tie Casino Night last night. I lost all my chips but had a great time trying to keep up with the high rollers. Poor Dad was the first to lose everything at the Blackjack tables, which has added irony if you've ever seen his personally-written "Better Blackjack" pamphlet on how to win big at the game.

So, I'll be here through Thursday, and after this trip I don't think there is any more travel in my near future. I was a bit worn out from my last trip just a week ago, so by the time this one's over I'm really going to be looking forward to just staying home and enjoying my awesome apartment and friends in San Francisco. I hear the weather finally improved the moment I left, too -- sheesh!

I like Sparky

Sparky can fix your Mach 5 in the middle of a race. He can fix your wireless router too, and set up HDMI cabling for your flatscreen, all while drinking Irish Carbombs!

Sparky would probably let you puke in the backseat of his car, if you really needed to. (Well, if he had his own car.)

Everyone needs a Sparky.

Yet another week in the life...

This week: (1) my Ex told me he's now dating the one guy that... oh, never mind it's just too complicated to explain; suffice it to say I'm more and more glad he's gone. (2) My car was stolen from right in front of my house; (3) the car came back, stereo ripped out of the dashboard; (4) I signed the California Termination of Domestic Partnership papers with the Ex.

Not sure what next week is going to bring while I'm in D.C. but I bet it won't be half as exciting as this week has been! Good lord.

Oh, and go see Slumdog Millionaire if you haven't caught it yet. Saw it with Sparky and Corkle-san last night and it was awesome!

New Years 2009

And what a whirlwind it's been. I can only hope that 2009 continues on the great streak that it's starting with. Oh, and I hope that 2008 has an ashen stake driven through its withered heart — never to look back ever again. Alrighty and with that, here's a wrap-up of the holidays and my big road trip!

Xmas

Xmas was really tough this year; not surprising since there's so much cultural pressure to be interminably happy and with close friends and family the whole time. As usual, many of my friends went away to visit relatives far away; and the ones that remained were almost without exception pretty sketchy this year. Christmas Eve was a really dreary evening at home, alone, moping, and woeful, until Jay texted me and we realized we were both doing nothing. He was supposed to be at a party with his new roommate and roommate's boyfriend, but lost his cell phone and didn't know where the party was. In a strange only-in-San-Francisco twist of events, it turned out I knew the couple -- Fred and Thomas, who were good friends with my Ex!! — and I ended up having a fantastic evening at Fred's house, staying up until 1am just enjoying the company of new friends.

Xmas itself was weird too; I think no one knew who to invite for an Xmas party because of the divorce; so, nothing big happened and instead Tom and Darren had me over for the day, while Michael had most of my other friends and the Ex in his apartment *downstairs*. Which meant that, while the day at Tom's was really fun, it was peppered with my Ex's booming laugh from downstairs every hour or so. Very strange. Actually the best part of the evening was watching ShowGirls for the first time. What an awful movie and I can't wait to see it again.

Birthday

My birthday was much easier and much more fun. Cocktail hour / housewarming at my house was really great; again, not many people are ever in town for my birthday but I had a great time with the ones that were able to make it. Afterwards we traipsed into the Castro for some drinks, and being my birthday it was hard to resist the shots from every bartender in town. This was trouBle, especially since I was supposed to drive eight hours the next day! But worth it. Apparently I shouted some epithets at my Ex at 1am as I was jumping into a cab. Hopefully no permanent damage done — Yay, I'm 39 now!

Road Trip Part I - San Diego

So Saturday the 27th, I cleaned up the party carcass best I could, synced my new iPod, hopped in my car, and drove south on the I-5. I pulled into San Diego around 9pm and met my friend Rick for drinks. We went to Pecs — do any of you watch Top Chef? The big bear dude that got kicked off on episode 3 this season is a bartender there. Yummy!!

Sunday through Tuesday we did all sorts of SoCal adventures. Rick hooked me up with a bunch of his friends down there and we all got in as much trouble as possible. It was really sunny and warm so I managed to sneak in a beach day, a bunch of frolicking at local watering holes, and lots of time with Rick and his two daughters. It was super relaxing and great fun. I even had the worst gay cliche moment EVER, when a guy waved at me from across a crowded bar, and I didn't recognize him but figured what the heck and went over to say hi. He apologized and told me he was trying to get the attention of the guy behind me.... ouch!! So, the universe still knows how to keep my conceit in check. I am now truly living the mostly unfabulous life of Ethan Greene, if any of you remember that comic strip.

Road Trip Part II - Palm Springs

And then off to Palm Springs for New Years Eve at Christina's glamorous house. She's the one with the huge pool, jacuzzi, and a private Casita for guests. Cocktails in the big house followed by a night out on the town, where I was hit on by a pornstar couple — YIKES I think I'll pass on that for right now, thank you — and then back to the house for relaxing by the pool and hot tub. It was not the wildest New Years Eve but it was certainly a great time with good friends. Sweet.

New Years Day I managed to nurse my hangover pretty well and we even did a quite grueling hike in the mountains just above the city. Later that day I met up with Srinu (yes, from Cornell! He lives in PS now) and his boyfriend Christopher and we had a hilarious night out at Wangs, the Chinese restaurant / gay bar (strange combination) followed by more trouble at the bars. Srinu looks like a million bucks, the desert air must be good for him... I want to know his doctor.

San Francisco

But all vacations do come to an end, so after Palm Springs I felt like I had done what I set out to do — a week away from my complicated life at home, just hanging out with good friends and following my nose. I originally planned on visiting another friend who's now in Long Beach on the return trip, but by Friday I was pretty much beat from all the good times and just hit the I-5 and came straight home.

The good news is, recent arrival Sparky was also back in town early, so we did the town up a bit over the weekend too. I'm not sure how he managed to get me to hike to the top of Twin Peaks on Saturday, but he did. He also helped me do some big-box shopping on Sunday as I continue to settle into my new pad; this time I found an A/V stand for the electronics and some long-overdue new sheets & towels from Bloodbath. One In-n-Out Burger with onion & cheese fries, and one unbelievable pizza later, and my vacation finally wound down just in time for a good night's sleep before heading back to work today.

Thus ends the longest blog post ever. The blow-by-blow was a bit long-winded, yes, but the meta message is pretty clear: I needed an awesome trip away, and I think I got just what I wanted.

Where's Billy?

Billy is back!

I'll post the road-trip rundown in just a bit, but wanted everyone to know that I'm back in San Francisco and all is good. That trip was exactly what I hoped for!! Now I need to clear out my work inbox and get some stuff done! More soon.

Road Trip

I'm going to be hitting the road in a few days and may not be posting so much. On the other hand, I will be bringing my laptop so who knows — there might be just too much going on to stay quiet!

Happy Holidays everyone. I love you all.

Work, Milk, Weird

Work — Today, tomorrow and I'll be done with work. It's impossible to focus any more; I've simply got to get out of here! The upcoming trip should recharge my batteries so I'm not too worried.

Milk — Finally saw Milk last night with a friend. OK actually it was a second date, and a really good one at that.  The movie was solid, and yes I cried, but I was surprised at a few things they left out, like the entire aftermath of the shooting, or Dianne Feinsteins purported complicity in the murders (that's a joke for John).  Also I loved Tom A.'s cameo! Can't believe he's moving to Sacramento to be my representative after basically being one of my bosses for a few years. 

Weird — I had to send my Ex a firm "cool it" email yesterday, and I think I hurt his feelings. He's been emailing and texting me constantly, as if nothing ever happened and we're still best buddies, and I'm just not there yet.  So I asked him to lay off a bit.  He's now "unfriended" me on Facebook!  Is this what middle school is like these days?  One more step on the strange ride, but one I had to take.  It's for the best, right now.

Three days left!

Three days to go in the office until my long holiday begins! Once I get through this Wednesday, I won't be back on the job until Monday January 5th -- it's like Winter Break in school again. I'm extremely psyched for the extended break, which is going to have a little bit of everything this year -- xmas with my friends here in town, some fun for my birthday (although lots of people are out of town this year), and a big adventure trip with friends through New Years. I imagine that by the time I get back to San Francisco, I'll be much grayer or at least pretty darn sleepy! Should you be more tired when you get back from vacation than when you left? :-)

Speaking of tired, boy what a weekend. I've been making a big push to find new friends, and a guy I met about a week ago has been keeping me busy lately. He got me completely hooked on the show "Weeds" — we had a marathon session for the rainy Sunday afternoon. I haven't had a TV show make my cry in a long, long time, but it was the good kind of cry.

Good times, indeed!

Redheads Everywhere

One of the strangest things I've noticed as I start putting myself out there is this: there is no shortage of redheaded boys in this town, chatting me up, sending me messages, just sorta trying to get my attention.

I can only imagine that these are guys who've seen me out & about in the neighborhood for years with The Ex. Now that he's gone they must think I either (1) only like redheads, a fetish thing; or (2) want me to be reminded of him every time I look at them. I hope for their sake that it's #1 and not #2. :-)

Currently I'm politely declining these advances.... I bet much the same way my Ex must be avoiding Turks right now. But I have a feeling there are fewer Turks here in San Francisco than redheads.

I want those earrings!

All I want to know is how he managed to steal both my song AND my hair.

Republican for Transportation Secretary!

Gah.... why does the cabinet pick for my industry have to be a Republican? I finally thought we would be past the era of privatization and toll-lane projects, and now this. Obama.... please.... don't.... be... a... weenie!

Ray LaHood, Illinois Republican Congresscritter, represents a fairly rural section of Illinois. This means he's unlikely to be a champion of public transit or urban issues. However, he did break with Republicans on Amtrak funding, and on one public transit spending bill, so perhaps there's hope.

Oh, and did I mention he presided over the Clinton impeachment proceedings in the 1990's? Gah. (and yes I'll say it... he even looks like a corrupt Republican.)

More here and more here.

Python and fried foods

Not sure if I'm going to lose any weight this week. Monday I took Tom, Zabe, and Christopher out for superfantastic steaks & seafood at Bobo's on Lombard. We didn't skimp and had... hmm let's see: crab, mussels, shrimp, tuna tartare, onion rings, fried zucchini... for appetizers! And then last night Brett and I were out and had a basket of fries and beer for dinner. Not exactly the health food diet....

Oh -- and while we were out I ran into a fellow Pythonista who works at YouTube. He said that if the Mexico vacation video from April (no link, because it's gone!) had less than twenty seconds of any particular "property" (e.g. Mariah Carey background music), I could have protested them removing it due to DMCA copyright. But, since the video had a lot more than that, guess we'll just have to suck it up.

Lesson learned for next time.

The Last Unicorn

There's not much that happened this weekend that I can put on a public blog, so let's just say that I had a lovely time. Except for that part about moving Zabe all day in the pouring rain on Sunday! Gah!!! But she deserved the help since she was instrumental in getting me into my new pad just two weeks ago. Granted it was a beautiful sunny day when I moved.....

Did anyone else miss "The Last Unicorn" in the 1980's? I did, but I saw it this weekend and I have to say, it really moved me. Am I a sentimental weenie, or what?

"Unicorn!!!! Unicorn!!!"

A really great day.

Heading to bed now, but just wanted to post a little bit before hitting the sack. Some of my days are easier than others; and some are a lot harder. Today was one of those days where everything just came together like magic. I'll take it!

It started with a great workout at the gym, followed by probably the most productive day I've had in the office in weeks. Plowed through things that have been stagnating forEVAH, which is such a great feeling. Then, cemented my plans for the holiday break which I'm totally excited about! I wasn't sure if I was going to be in the mood for any holiday stuff at all this year, and now it seems like it's going to be nonstop fun, top to bottom.

Then another gorgeous sunset -- not sure what's in the air these days but we've had one amazing sunset after another, all week long. The view from my office is stunning. Our office xmas party was tonight, and it was a surprisingly good time, surrounded by more and more people I actually like. It's a long way from the Transportation Authority of 2003.

Plus, a little art around the corner from my house -- I'm in the Mission now, which is a bit more... avant garde? than my former nbhd in Castro. I present you some art in the window down the block.

And finally, I got to give a gift to a friend tonight too -- Life is sweet.

(no not THAT kind of gift, sheesh who do you think I am???!)

Giggles and Shites

Corkle-san was in town last night and had me in stitches late into the night, as usual. This time we were making up humorous Craigslist ads, one of which I actually posted on m4m -- the short version was,

"Hot guy looking for 2-3 months of rollercoaster rebound relationship, guaranteed to have wild ups and downs. Dirty sex, fun dates, emotional confusion and/or irrational exuberance will keep you guessing, PLUS I promise the breakup at the end of winter will be sharp and quick."

People actually responded -- I just love this town.

184 and counting

The mad exercise routine is highly effective: I'm down to 184 now!! For those of you worried that I'm turning anorexic, rest assured that I still have a nice thick layer of heat-retaining blubber covering every inch of me. I'm just trying to get things back into shape so I don't look ridiculous in the mirror. So far, I'm liking the progress and I think if I can get somewhere between 175-180 i will be quite happy with the results. So stop worrying!

In work news I had a dreary Finance Committee meeting with the board of supervisors at City Hall today. A big mixup over a travel survey which was misunderstood to be English-only when in fact it will be English/Spanish/Chinese. Ugh, some days this job is ridiculous!! Can't I just hide in my cute little office and code up some Python every afternoon? That would be much better. :-)

Heading out to dinner w/Donnie and Mike later, and then Corkle-san is coming back to town for one evening -- and will be my first houseguest tonight. Yay! He may also be subjected to my new TV and stereo system before I let him go. He moves here officially at the beginning of January. It can't come soon enough if you ask me!

All in all, a pretty decent day!

God - get me off this damn ride

The Ex and I had a nice chat last night. We're both absolutely exhausted from several weeks of sheer insanity surrounding this breakup. I'm hopeful that this time, we really are both going to try and keep things clean and simple. Exactly two weeks ago, we said the same thing, but there's just no easy way to break up, I guess.

I'm hopeful. I don't want to be on this rollercoaster anymore, and apparently no one else wants to be either. This is a good thing.

My deep thanks to my friend for being wise enough to run away. He's trying to help, but The Ex and I need to sort this out ourselves. And, thanks to The Ex for writing the title of this post!

Day in the Park

FUN day in the park today! My work crew were at a public outreach meeting in the Tenderloin and were desperately in the need of cocktails by lunchtime. What a perfect opportunity to have people over to the new pad for a first little shindig! Chris and John came by too, so it wasn't just work folks. Dolores Park is just a few steps away, but unfortunately the day wasn't as warm as I would have liked. Now granted, it is early December and I'm complaining that we couldn't wear shorts outside, when most of the country is freezing or soaked right now. So I try to keep things in perspective but we do get spoiled out here.

A fabulous afternoon.

Seeing clearly....

....for the first time in a long time. Wish it didn't take so long to finally understand what's going on, but now that I do, wow what a feeling. I woke up this morning with a viv in my step that hasn't been there since well before the breakup.

One of the most difficult aspects of the breakup was the relative quickness we went from "things are really bad, we need to fix it or end it" to actually parting ways. Now I finally get it. I may be slow, but I'm not stupid. ;-)

So, at last I'm really looking forward to new adventures! I'm having people for brunch at my pad today, then we're traipsing over to the beautiful park a block away, and I've got plans tonight too. Come along for Billy's Wild Ride...........

Thanks, Tom!!

Pants-off night at the bar? Bad!! You certainly know how to show a girl a good time.

;-)

Corkle-san!

Yay yay YAYYY!!!! My friend Mike (a.k.a. Corkle-san) and his beau are moving here from Tokyo! We lived in the same building back in the good ole' days in Chicago, and spent many many weekends dancing our asses off at Big Chicks, Berlin, and Roscoe's. I think we spent more than a few weeknights doing the same thing, actually.

I can't believe that he didn't even tell me he was considering moving here -- it was such a shock at dinner last night that I squealed loud enough to have other tables look over and see what the hubbub was about.

Billy super happy!

Happy Birthday Trigby !!!!!

Be sure to email, call, and text Trigby several times today. Sing him the Happy Birthday song, the Friendship Song, and any other song you can think of!

It's his birthday today, and he needs everyone to call him at least six times today wishing him a great day!!! So , do your part to help out!

Quiet Night

I'm having a quiet night at home tonight. This is the first evening in about two weeks (months?) that I haven't had either social plans or moving insanity, so I'm relishing the idea of sitting my ass on this couch and just catching up on email.

My kitchen is unpacked; I was finally able to cook something tonight! (Made lima beans and artichokes along with some pasta & feta. Yum!) But this isn't a cooking blog so I'll skip the recipes. But y'all know that if I can't cook I'm unhappy. So, good news there. I've also got just about all my clothing put away in the bedroom, and the new stereo is plugged in so I've got some tunes going, too.

It'll be interesting to see if I can keep a simpler lifestyle going with fewer monthly payments. Right now I'm living without cable, no home phone, and no HD Tivo. I also had gotten used to some of my Ex's little treats, like GameFly videogame rentals. Hmmm, might have to sign up for that one. :-)

I didn't realize how exhausting all this has been, since I've been running on full adrenaline since last weekend. Today I felt this nagging cold getting a bit worse, so I came home from work early -- and quickly proceeded to fall asleep on the couch for more than two hours. So, apparently I need to keep taking care of myself even though there's so much to do. Oh, and I lost two more pounds, down to 187 now. Yikes!

Alrighty then -- a few more online address-changes and I think I'm done for the day.

Costco and Best Buy and Bloodbath, OH MY

Well, anyone who thought it was going to be a bad Xmas season can rest easy after today. I just dropped more money shopping in a single day than I think I ever have!

Bloodbath and Beyond is particularly insidious -- you can go in there thinking you need a $12.99 shower curtain, and before you know it you've got not one but TWO coffee makers in your cart; one for those on-your-own mornings, and then a bigger one for after-dinner cafe and cookies with friends. Good lord.

I've also decided I probably don't need my gym membership anymore, now that I have several flights of stairs between the daily goodies in my car and my new apartment.

Why the 49 is a bit more rocking than the 47

Muni plus tranny hookers always equals a good time.

Another fine Muni Moment, this time courtesy of the Van Ness Avenue routes and Best of Craigslist. Warning, not for the faint of heart! http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/876086738.html

I do love Muni,it's so... colorful. Hat tip to Jesse!

Here

View from my living room window

Hooray, I'm here!!!

I'm stealing my neighbor's wi-fi in standard San Francisco tradition, until my internet gets hooked up this week. We were all done moving everything out of my old pad, and into my pad, by 3:00. Tom, Christopher, and Zabe went so far beyond the call of duty I don't know how to thank them. Dinner at BoBo's for sure, but it just won't be enough. Thanks guys!

Now that I'm settled in, I can't help but think my ex doesn't have a whole lot left over at his place. He got the full bedroom set, and I got the full living room (except for the big wooden coffee table), so theoretically we're "even" but his place just looked *so* empty without all that stuff crammed in there. I hope he doesn't take too long to fill it back up with new things that are comfortable and that he can call his own.

I'm going to miss him.

OK, so I'm going to go unpack a few more boxes and hit the hay. Long fun day of shopping ahead of me tomorrow! Here are just a few more shots from moving day.



My new living room



My new bedroom

Packing sucks.

Packing just sucks. Splitting up your shit, while packing, sucks even more. We could not have been more tense today as we ripped the material accumulation of ten years into two piles.

Ugh. I pick up the moving truck Sunday at 8am. Can't wait to get this stage overwith. It just reeks of massive suckitude; we're both miserable and need to finish this as quickly as possible.

Sucks sucks sucks. Looking forward to a happier "Yay I'm all moved in!" post, hopefully tomorrow.

Getting closer....!

Thanksgiving was surprisingly uneventful! We had a few friends over for Wednesday night prep-time, chopping vegetables and figuring out hors d'oeuvres. I don't know if we were acting funny or if our friends just wanted lots of sleep before Thursday, but everyone scrammed by 9pm.

Which left us in a bind -- what to do on the first night of a long holiday weekend? Read the bible? Watch Bill Moyers on TV? Go our separate ways and just rendezvous Thursday morning?

Well of course not; the two of us went into the neighborhood for old times' sake and had a few drinks together at our favorite bar. It was only a little bit surreal -- a few handsome boys came our way and tried to chat with us, but I'm sure once anybody spoke to us they probably realized we had bright red neon "Freak - Stay Away" signs over our heads. Probably a good thing! So, we spent one last night out together, just the two of us, and had a great time. Not a bad way to end things, I guess.

Thursday was too busy to really think about anything at all -- lots of cooking and orchestrating for the big dinner. The food was awesome and I think all my friends really appreciated that we were able to do it together and stay civil. There's no doubt that by the end of the night I was pretty quiet, from the exhaustion of staying up the night before, and from the emotional drain of throwing a big party with my ex-husband. But all in all, no damage done and we all made it through.

Now, the only thing left to do is pack things up, and move. I'm ready to get started! But before I do, a fun night out w/my friends this evening, who've been awesome at keeping me relentlessly busy and distracted.

Welcome to San Francisco -- now gimme $3

A pretty decent article in today's Chronicle about my agency's big plan to charge drivers to enter downtown, and use the revenues to improve transit! Zabe is quoted in the article, from her big presentation at City Hall yesterday. Yay! And even better, all the forecasting for the study was of course done with my new shiny "fully operational" deathstar model. Double-Yay!

Check it out -- http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2008/11/25/MNS614C8S1.DTL&tsp=1

Why I Love San Francisco

Because sometimes, when you need it most, this city just wraps its arms up around you and gives you a huge bear hug, for no reason. No other city does it like San Francisco.

I love being home.

Yipes.... seven pounds gone...

I suppose I should be happier that I weighed in at 189 lbs. this morning; I had been trying to lose weight all summer to no avail!! Nothing like a break-up to snap you back to attention. :-) Of course, it helps being (occasionally) too sad to eat. I'll have to try to eat more during the moments when this whole situation isn't bugging me, to make up for the times when it is.

The good news is, my ex and I had another re-hash re-breakup re-fight last night that was totally unproductive and unnecessary. Why is that good news? Two reasons: (1) Because it was a nice summary reminder of why we have to do this. There's no turning back, we're both too set in our current ways and won't change if we stay together. I've been spending a fair bit of energy thinking that maybe we could try to make the changes we need together instead of apart, but that's just not going to happen. (2) Because there's no time left to fight between now and Thanksgiving, which we're still planning on hosting here at our apartment for one last hurrah before I move out. The next few days are going to be completely filled with party planning, shopping, cleaning, and having friends over to help prep and cook.

So, with no time left to fight, and a fair bit of resolution on the why-we're-doing-this front, it seems like a good breakpoint for us to move to the next stage, which will be the actual moving out.

More to come!

Sky on Fire

Anyone else catch the freaky sky-on-fire sunset tonight? Wow.

And then, Muni saves my day

So after the melancholy "Oh Poor Me" post below, sfist.com provides me this gem, keeping me giggling all afternoon.

The world is going to be okay after all. I'll pay the $1.50, thank you. Nice to keep everything in context!

Let's not pretend - love is the end

A brutal day. I can honestly say I've never felt such deep sorrow. While I pick up the pieces and work on moving forward there is an unmistakable feeling that I'm bearing witness to a crushing sadness. The loss of a dear departed, a funeral for something that I loved more than anything I've ever loved in my life. Devastating in a way I never thought I could experience. Just.... crushing.

I'm trying to stay very focused on the pieces of this that I can control: making plans with friends for support; picking out a bed and making a list of other things I'll need in my new pad; wrapping up little home/nonwork projects that I don't want dangling over me anymore; tying up loose ends with Eric since he deserves so much better. And of course, being sweet to my ex through it all, so he knows I still love him and that I'm doing my best to learn some hard lessons.

The hardest part is dealing with the pieces I can't control: his unwillingness to fight for keeping us together; the inevitable awkwardness as we start living our own lives while still living together; having to go through the motions at work when all I want to do is sit at home; feeling lonely, already.

So, it's true. Without love there's nothing.

"Let's not pretend - love is the end"

Billy's New Digs

Wow -- I put a deposit down on my new apartment today! See pics below. I'm one block from Dolores Park, on Dolores St at 21st. Top floor, hardwood floors throughout, nice view, and I can get a cat!

It's fucking EXPENSIVE though, so time to trim my other expenses a bit! Maybe I can live without a maid for awhile.... :-(

Anyway, moving soon, so i'm going to need a truckload of new furniture. Who wants to help me shop? :-)

Sunshine Policy

Wow. I just got out of the strangest all-staff meeting regarding my agency's "Sunshine Policy". We are not part of city government (being a state-created entity has its benefits!), which means we don't adhere the the San Francisco sunshine ordinance. But we *do* have our very own sunshine policy, which says:

• If I delete an email, it's equivalent to having thrown a paper in a wastebin, and it is no longer "recorded information"
• If a document is preliminary or "draft", it does not need to be provided
• If a "draft" document is attached to an email (which wasn't deleted), we can provide the email but don't need to provide the document
• Asking questions isn't the same as asking for documents or recorded information. I don't actually have to answer questions!
  

So I'm going to stamp everything draft, delete all my old email, and never again worry about anything people ask me. (And if this is sunshine, I fart glitter....)

Three pounds down!

Well it's already working! Weighed myself at the gym and I've lost three pounds since the weekend. Now that I've got progress there, I'm going to focus on work, work, work for the next few hours. Lots of things have been... um.... stagnating as I get all dramatic about this situation, so I need to step up a bit and take care of things!

"Just one stomach flu away from my ideal weight..." ;-)

Day 1 a success!

Wow, I made it thru my first day of being single after 10 years.

Got up early, after just a few hours of sleep. Raced out of the house and met my friend Eric for breakfast. Cried at breakfast. Waiter kept trying to bring me fresh coffee to make me feel better!

Couldn't get out of work today, because I was in Sacramento Monday/Tuesday and I had some meetings stacked up. Glad I went; didn't get a whole lot done but was happy to think about other things a bit. Well, at least when I wasn't sitting in my coworkers offices talking about the breakup.

Left early though (around 4pm -- and picked up "lunch" on the way, since I completely forgot to eat). Got home and had the joyful task of finishing the conversion of our 1 bedroom / 1 office apartment into a 2 bedroom apartment, so we have separate spaces. Voila! I am now typing this from my new, private bedroom. Nice!

So, all in all a good day. I made a big list of things that will need doing, but haven't gotten very far on it yet. I guess there's time. Oh one other thing -- I set up a lookie at what sounds like a very nice 1 bedroom apartment close to gorgeous Dolores Park. Keep fingers crossed!

News

Trigby and I have decided to break up. It's not quite a divorce, since we're not quite married, but to all of you it will probably look and feel like one.

So, be extra nice to us as we try to figure what to do now.

Lots to talk about!

Boy has a lot been going on lately. While the blog is called "Muni Meltdown," I've decided that I'm going to start posting on lots of topics other than just transport madness. So, pay attention to the tags/labels on the posts here, since I'm going to cover my personal life and interests a bit more, and transit a bit less.

Not that I won't still kvetch about how awful Muni is -- it still sucks!

Thanks, and more to come.

Friday commute: Déjà vu of disaster

Hmmm... another Friday afternoon commute of agony. Had to walk home today, because the tunnel was inexplicably shut down (again) during evening rush hour. I think I'm going to start a database of Muni Metro shutdowns and doing some data-mining to find patterns. Some friends who work for Muni told me that the afternoons are always worse than the mornings, and actually had an answer for me about WHY.

The problem is one of line and yard management. In the morning peak, each yard sends out the service with a team of line-management pros (they called these people by their official titles but I don't remember those). The problem is, when Muni balanced their budget they had to cut something so they eliminated a lot of the line management folks in the afternoon shifts. Those are the people who make sure that the vehicles aren't bunched together and are leaving the yards at the right time. Without that, the drivers just sorta "wing it".

So finally, I think I understand why the afternoons are worse than the mornings. How many times have YOU sat in the tunnel watching the next-train sign show that it's going to be N, J, N-N, J, K...

Any chance we can get that line management back by, oh, pulling staff off the outrageously expensive Chinatown subway project?

Please just let me pay my fare!

No other transit system I've ever used is so hostile toward infrequent riders. Ask anyone who's ever visited San Francisco how maddening it is to take BART into the city, and then try to transfer to Muni at Civic Center or Embarcadero. No cross-platform transfer; no useful signage; no integrated ticket (except fastpass but that's for residents).

The kiosk agents don't take cash (half of the kiosks sit empty anyway); and the change machines won't take $20 bills, or the ones that do only return four $5 bills which are useless at the Muni turnstiles.

My friend visiting last weekend actually got yelled at by the BART kiosk agent, telling him "This is a BART station!! If you need change, go upstairs to Burger King." Which he did -- and they wouldn't change his $20, so he ended up taking a taxi cab.

Plus, the daily and weekly passes are almost impossible to find unless you already know where to go to get them. Even visitors who want to ride Muni are discouraged every step of the way.

Here are some suggestions which would make Muni more inviting to infrequent users, thus encouraging them to become more frequent users:

1. More, working change machines or automatic ticket vending machines.
2. A simplified Muni system map, which shows high-frequency lines and major stops only. Portland has a nice downtown PDF and the SF Transportation Authority had a good start here but it would need some work.
   
3. Real live kiosk agents at the kiosks, actually helping! Or like in other cities, actually doing something like accepting payments.
   
4. Now I'm just dreaming: how about really funding and implementing TransLink so you can get one ticket for your entire ride?