Road Trip

I'm going to be hitting the road in a few days and may not be posting so much. On the other hand, I will be bringing my laptop so who knows — there might be just too much going on to stay quiet!

Happy Holidays everyone. I love you all.

Work, Milk, Weird

Work — Today, tomorrow and I'll be done with work. It's impossible to focus any more; I've simply got to get out of here! The upcoming trip should recharge my batteries so I'm not too worried.

Milk — Finally saw Milk last night with a friend. OK actually it was a second date, and a really good one at that.  The movie was solid, and yes I cried, but I was surprised at a few things they left out, like the entire aftermath of the shooting, or Dianne Feinsteins purported complicity in the murders (that's a joke for John).  Also I loved Tom A.'s cameo! Can't believe he's moving to Sacramento to be my representative after basically being one of my bosses for a few years. 

Weird — I had to send my Ex a firm "cool it" email yesterday, and I think I hurt his feelings. He's been emailing and texting me constantly, as if nothing ever happened and we're still best buddies, and I'm just not there yet.  So I asked him to lay off a bit.  He's now "unfriended" me on Facebook!  Is this what middle school is like these days?  One more step on the strange ride, but one I had to take.  It's for the best, right now.

Three days left!

Three days to go in the office until my long holiday begins! Once I get through this Wednesday, I won't be back on the job until Monday January 5th -- it's like Winter Break in school again. I'm extremely psyched for the extended break, which is going to have a little bit of everything this year -- xmas with my friends here in town, some fun for my birthday (although lots of people are out of town this year), and a big adventure trip with friends through New Years. I imagine that by the time I get back to San Francisco, I'll be much grayer or at least pretty darn sleepy! Should you be more tired when you get back from vacation than when you left? :-)

Speaking of tired, boy what a weekend. I've been making a big push to find new friends, and a guy I met about a week ago has been keeping me busy lately. He got me completely hooked on the show "Weeds" — we had a marathon session for the rainy Sunday afternoon. I haven't had a TV show make my cry in a long, long time, but it was the good kind of cry.

Good times, indeed!

Redheads Everywhere

One of the strangest things I've noticed as I start putting myself out there is this: there is no shortage of redheaded boys in this town, chatting me up, sending me messages, just sorta trying to get my attention.

I can only imagine that these are guys who've seen me out & about in the neighborhood for years with The Ex. Now that he's gone they must think I either (1) only like redheads, a fetish thing; or (2) want me to be reminded of him every time I look at them. I hope for their sake that it's #1 and not #2. :-)

Currently I'm politely declining these advances.... I bet much the same way my Ex must be avoiding Turks right now. But I have a feeling there are fewer Turks here in San Francisco than redheads.

I want those earrings!

All I want to know is how he managed to steal both my song AND my hair.

Republican for Transportation Secretary!

Gah.... why does the cabinet pick for my industry have to be a Republican? I finally thought we would be past the era of privatization and toll-lane projects, and now this. Obama.... please.... don't.... be... a... weenie!

Ray LaHood, Illinois Republican Congresscritter, represents a fairly rural section of Illinois. This means he's unlikely to be a champion of public transit or urban issues. However, he did break with Republicans on Amtrak funding, and on one public transit spending bill, so perhaps there's hope.

Oh, and did I mention he presided over the Clinton impeachment proceedings in the 1990's? Gah. (and yes I'll say it... he even looks like a corrupt Republican.)

More here and more here.

Python and fried foods

Not sure if I'm going to lose any weight this week. Monday I took Tom, Zabe, and Christopher out for superfantastic steaks & seafood at Bobo's on Lombard. We didn't skimp and had... hmm let's see: crab, mussels, shrimp, tuna tartare, onion rings, fried zucchini... for appetizers! And then last night Brett and I were out and had a basket of fries and beer for dinner. Not exactly the health food diet....

Oh -- and while we were out I ran into a fellow Pythonista who works at YouTube. He said that if the Mexico vacation video from April (no link, because it's gone!) had less than twenty seconds of any particular "property" (e.g. Mariah Carey background music), I could have protested them removing it due to DMCA copyright. But, since the video had a lot more than that, guess we'll just have to suck it up.

Lesson learned for next time.

The Last Unicorn

There's not much that happened this weekend that I can put on a public blog, so let's just say that I had a lovely time. Except for that part about moving Zabe all day in the pouring rain on Sunday! Gah!!! But she deserved the help since she was instrumental in getting me into my new pad just two weeks ago. Granted it was a beautiful sunny day when I moved.....

Did anyone else miss "The Last Unicorn" in the 1980's? I did, but I saw it this weekend and I have to say, it really moved me. Am I a sentimental weenie, or what?

"Unicorn!!!! Unicorn!!!"

A really great day.

Heading to bed now, but just wanted to post a little bit before hitting the sack. Some of my days are easier than others; and some are a lot harder. Today was one of those days where everything just came together like magic. I'll take it!

It started with a great workout at the gym, followed by probably the most productive day I've had in the office in weeks. Plowed through things that have been stagnating forEVAH, which is such a great feeling. Then, cemented my plans for the holiday break which I'm totally excited about! I wasn't sure if I was going to be in the mood for any holiday stuff at all this year, and now it seems like it's going to be nonstop fun, top to bottom.

Then another gorgeous sunset -- not sure what's in the air these days but we've had one amazing sunset after another, all week long. The view from my office is stunning. Our office xmas party was tonight, and it was a surprisingly good time, surrounded by more and more people I actually like. It's a long way from the Transportation Authority of 2003.

Plus, a little art around the corner from my house -- I'm in the Mission now, which is a bit more... avant garde? than my former nbhd in Castro. I present you some art in the window down the block.

And finally, I got to give a gift to a friend tonight too -- Life is sweet.

(no not THAT kind of gift, sheesh who do you think I am???!)

Giggles and Shites

Corkle-san was in town last night and had me in stitches late into the night, as usual. This time we were making up humorous Craigslist ads, one of which I actually posted on m4m -- the short version was,

"Hot guy looking for 2-3 months of rollercoaster rebound relationship, guaranteed to have wild ups and downs. Dirty sex, fun dates, emotional confusion and/or irrational exuberance will keep you guessing, PLUS I promise the breakup at the end of winter will be sharp and quick."

People actually responded -- I just love this town.

184 and counting

The mad exercise routine is highly effective: I'm down to 184 now!! For those of you worried that I'm turning anorexic, rest assured that I still have a nice thick layer of heat-retaining blubber covering every inch of me. I'm just trying to get things back into shape so I don't look ridiculous in the mirror. So far, I'm liking the progress and I think if I can get somewhere between 175-180 i will be quite happy with the results. So stop worrying!

In work news I had a dreary Finance Committee meeting with the board of supervisors at City Hall today. A big mixup over a travel survey which was misunderstood to be English-only when in fact it will be English/Spanish/Chinese. Ugh, some days this job is ridiculous!! Can't I just hide in my cute little office and code up some Python every afternoon? That would be much better. :-)

Heading out to dinner w/Donnie and Mike later, and then Corkle-san is coming back to town for one evening -- and will be my first houseguest tonight. Yay! He may also be subjected to my new TV and stereo system before I let him go. He moves here officially at the beginning of January. It can't come soon enough if you ask me!

All in all, a pretty decent day!

God - get me off this damn ride

The Ex and I had a nice chat last night. We're both absolutely exhausted from several weeks of sheer insanity surrounding this breakup. I'm hopeful that this time, we really are both going to try and keep things clean and simple. Exactly two weeks ago, we said the same thing, but there's just no easy way to break up, I guess.

I'm hopeful. I don't want to be on this rollercoaster anymore, and apparently no one else wants to be either. This is a good thing.

My deep thanks to my friend for being wise enough to run away. He's trying to help, but The Ex and I need to sort this out ourselves. And, thanks to The Ex for writing the title of this post!

Day in the Park

FUN day in the park today! My work crew were at a public outreach meeting in the Tenderloin and were desperately in the need of cocktails by lunchtime. What a perfect opportunity to have people over to the new pad for a first little shindig! Chris and John came by too, so it wasn't just work folks. Dolores Park is just a few steps away, but unfortunately the day wasn't as warm as I would have liked. Now granted, it is early December and I'm complaining that we couldn't wear shorts outside, when most of the country is freezing or soaked right now. So I try to keep things in perspective but we do get spoiled out here.

A fabulous afternoon.

Seeing clearly....

....for the first time in a long time. Wish it didn't take so long to finally understand what's going on, but now that I do, wow what a feeling. I woke up this morning with a viv in my step that hasn't been there since well before the breakup.

One of the most difficult aspects of the breakup was the relative quickness we went from "things are really bad, we need to fix it or end it" to actually parting ways. Now I finally get it. I may be slow, but I'm not stupid. ;-)

So, at last I'm really looking forward to new adventures! I'm having people for brunch at my pad today, then we're traipsing over to the beautiful park a block away, and I've got plans tonight too. Come along for Billy's Wild Ride...........

Thanks, Tom!!

Pants-off night at the bar? Bad!! You certainly know how to show a girl a good time.

;-)

Corkle-san!

Yay yay YAYYY!!!! My friend Mike (a.k.a. Corkle-san) and his beau are moving here from Tokyo! We lived in the same building back in the good ole' days in Chicago, and spent many many weekends dancing our asses off at Big Chicks, Berlin, and Roscoe's. I think we spent more than a few weeknights doing the same thing, actually.

I can't believe that he didn't even tell me he was considering moving here -- it was such a shock at dinner last night that I squealed loud enough to have other tables look over and see what the hubbub was about.

Billy super happy!

Happy Birthday Trigby !!!!!

Be sure to email, call, and text Trigby several times today. Sing him the Happy Birthday song, the Friendship Song, and any other song you can think of!

It's his birthday today, and he needs everyone to call him at least six times today wishing him a great day!!! So , do your part to help out!

Quiet Night

I'm having a quiet night at home tonight. This is the first evening in about two weeks (months?) that I haven't had either social plans or moving insanity, so I'm relishing the idea of sitting my ass on this couch and just catching up on email.

My kitchen is unpacked; I was finally able to cook something tonight! (Made lima beans and artichokes along with some pasta & feta. Yum!) But this isn't a cooking blog so I'll skip the recipes. But y'all know that if I can't cook I'm unhappy. So, good news there. I've also got just about all my clothing put away in the bedroom, and the new stereo is plugged in so I've got some tunes going, too.

It'll be interesting to see if I can keep a simpler lifestyle going with fewer monthly payments. Right now I'm living without cable, no home phone, and no HD Tivo. I also had gotten used to some of my Ex's little treats, like GameFly videogame rentals. Hmmm, might have to sign up for that one. :-)

I didn't realize how exhausting all this has been, since I've been running on full adrenaline since last weekend. Today I felt this nagging cold getting a bit worse, so I came home from work early -- and quickly proceeded to fall asleep on the couch for more than two hours. So, apparently I need to keep taking care of myself even though there's so much to do. Oh, and I lost two more pounds, down to 187 now. Yikes!

Alrighty then -- a few more online address-changes and I think I'm done for the day.

Costco and Best Buy and Bloodbath, OH MY

Well, anyone who thought it was going to be a bad Xmas season can rest easy after today. I just dropped more money shopping in a single day than I think I ever have!

Bloodbath and Beyond is particularly insidious -- you can go in there thinking you need a $12.99 shower curtain, and before you know it you've got not one but TWO coffee makers in your cart; one for those on-your-own mornings, and then a bigger one for after-dinner cafe and cookies with friends. Good lord.

I've also decided I probably don't need my gym membership anymore, now that I have several flights of stairs between the daily goodies in my car and my new apartment.

Why the 49 is a bit more rocking than the 47

Muni plus tranny hookers always equals a good time.

Another fine Muni Moment, this time courtesy of the Van Ness Avenue routes and Best of Craigslist. Warning, not for the faint of heart! http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/876086738.html

I do love Muni,it's so... colorful. Hat tip to Jesse!

Here

View from my living room window

Hooray, I'm here!!!

I'm stealing my neighbor's wi-fi in standard San Francisco tradition, until my internet gets hooked up this week. We were all done moving everything out of my old pad, and into my pad, by 3:00. Tom, Christopher, and Zabe went so far beyond the call of duty I don't know how to thank them. Dinner at BoBo's for sure, but it just won't be enough. Thanks guys!

Now that I'm settled in, I can't help but think my ex doesn't have a whole lot left over at his place. He got the full bedroom set, and I got the full living room (except for the big wooden coffee table), so theoretically we're "even" but his place just looked *so* empty without all that stuff crammed in there. I hope he doesn't take too long to fill it back up with new things that are comfortable and that he can call his own.

I'm going to miss him.

OK, so I'm going to go unpack a few more boxes and hit the hay. Long fun day of shopping ahead of me tomorrow! Here are just a few more shots from moving day.



My new living room



My new bedroom

Packing sucks.

Packing just sucks. Splitting up your shit, while packing, sucks even more. We could not have been more tense today as we ripped the material accumulation of ten years into two piles.

Ugh. I pick up the moving truck Sunday at 8am. Can't wait to get this stage overwith. It just reeks of massive suckitude; we're both miserable and need to finish this as quickly as possible.

Sucks sucks sucks. Looking forward to a happier "Yay I'm all moved in!" post, hopefully tomorrow.

Getting closer....!

Thanksgiving was surprisingly uneventful! We had a few friends over for Wednesday night prep-time, chopping vegetables and figuring out hors d'oeuvres. I don't know if we were acting funny or if our friends just wanted lots of sleep before Thursday, but everyone scrammed by 9pm.

Which left us in a bind -- what to do on the first night of a long holiday weekend? Read the bible? Watch Bill Moyers on TV? Go our separate ways and just rendezvous Thursday morning?

Well of course not; the two of us went into the neighborhood for old times' sake and had a few drinks together at our favorite bar. It was only a little bit surreal -- a few handsome boys came our way and tried to chat with us, but I'm sure once anybody spoke to us they probably realized we had bright red neon "Freak - Stay Away" signs over our heads. Probably a good thing! So, we spent one last night out together, just the two of us, and had a great time. Not a bad way to end things, I guess.

Thursday was too busy to really think about anything at all -- lots of cooking and orchestrating for the big dinner. The food was awesome and I think all my friends really appreciated that we were able to do it together and stay civil. There's no doubt that by the end of the night I was pretty quiet, from the exhaustion of staying up the night before, and from the emotional drain of throwing a big party with my ex-husband. But all in all, no damage done and we all made it through.

Now, the only thing left to do is pack things up, and move. I'm ready to get started! But before I do, a fun night out w/my friends this evening, who've been awesome at keeping me relentlessly busy and distracted.

Welcome to San Francisco -- now gimme $3

A pretty decent article in today's Chronicle about my agency's big plan to charge drivers to enter downtown, and use the revenues to improve transit! Zabe is quoted in the article, from her big presentation at City Hall yesterday. Yay! And even better, all the forecasting for the study was of course done with my new shiny "fully operational" deathstar model. Double-Yay!

Check it out -- http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2008/11/25/MNS614C8S1.DTL&tsp=1

Why I Love San Francisco

Because sometimes, when you need it most, this city just wraps its arms up around you and gives you a huge bear hug, for no reason. No other city does it like San Francisco.

I love being home.

Yipes.... seven pounds gone...

I suppose I should be happier that I weighed in at 189 lbs. this morning; I had been trying to lose weight all summer to no avail!! Nothing like a break-up to snap you back to attention. :-) Of course, it helps being (occasionally) too sad to eat. I'll have to try to eat more during the moments when this whole situation isn't bugging me, to make up for the times when it is.

The good news is, my ex and I had another re-hash re-breakup re-fight last night that was totally unproductive and unnecessary. Why is that good news? Two reasons: (1) Because it was a nice summary reminder of why we have to do this. There's no turning back, we're both too set in our current ways and won't change if we stay together. I've been spending a fair bit of energy thinking that maybe we could try to make the changes we need together instead of apart, but that's just not going to happen. (2) Because there's no time left to fight between now and Thanksgiving, which we're still planning on hosting here at our apartment for one last hurrah before I move out. The next few days are going to be completely filled with party planning, shopping, cleaning, and having friends over to help prep and cook.

So, with no time left to fight, and a fair bit of resolution on the why-we're-doing-this front, it seems like a good breakpoint for us to move to the next stage, which will be the actual moving out.

More to come!

Sky on Fire

Anyone else catch the freaky sky-on-fire sunset tonight? Wow.

And then, Muni saves my day

So after the melancholy "Oh Poor Me" post below, sfist.com provides me this gem, keeping me giggling all afternoon.

The world is going to be okay after all. I'll pay the $1.50, thank you. Nice to keep everything in context!

Let's not pretend - love is the end

A brutal day. I can honestly say I've never felt such deep sorrow. While I pick up the pieces and work on moving forward there is an unmistakable feeling that I'm bearing witness to a crushing sadness. The loss of a dear departed, a funeral for something that I loved more than anything I've ever loved in my life. Devastating in a way I never thought I could experience. Just.... crushing.

I'm trying to stay very focused on the pieces of this that I can control: making plans with friends for support; picking out a bed and making a list of other things I'll need in my new pad; wrapping up little home/nonwork projects that I don't want dangling over me anymore; tying up loose ends with Eric since he deserves so much better. And of course, being sweet to my ex through it all, so he knows I still love him and that I'm doing my best to learn some hard lessons.

The hardest part is dealing with the pieces I can't control: his unwillingness to fight for keeping us together; the inevitable awkwardness as we start living our own lives while still living together; having to go through the motions at work when all I want to do is sit at home; feeling lonely, already.

So, it's true. Without love there's nothing.

"Let's not pretend - love is the end"

Billy's New Digs

Wow -- I put a deposit down on my new apartment today! See pics below. I'm one block from Dolores Park, on Dolores St at 21st. Top floor, hardwood floors throughout, nice view, and I can get a cat!

It's fucking EXPENSIVE though, so time to trim my other expenses a bit! Maybe I can live without a maid for awhile.... :-(

Anyway, moving soon, so i'm going to need a truckload of new furniture. Who wants to help me shop? :-)

Sunshine Policy

Wow. I just got out of the strangest all-staff meeting regarding my agency's "Sunshine Policy". We are not part of city government (being a state-created entity has its benefits!), which means we don't adhere the the San Francisco sunshine ordinance. But we *do* have our very own sunshine policy, which says:

• If I delete an email, it's equivalent to having thrown a paper in a wastebin, and it is no longer "recorded information"
• If a document is preliminary or "draft", it does not need to be provided
• If a "draft" document is attached to an email (which wasn't deleted), we can provide the email but don't need to provide the document
• Asking questions isn't the same as asking for documents or recorded information. I don't actually have to answer questions!
  

So I'm going to stamp everything draft, delete all my old email, and never again worry about anything people ask me. (And if this is sunshine, I fart glitter....)

Three pounds down!

Well it's already working! Weighed myself at the gym and I've lost three pounds since the weekend. Now that I've got progress there, I'm going to focus on work, work, work for the next few hours. Lots of things have been... um.... stagnating as I get all dramatic about this situation, so I need to step up a bit and take care of things!

"Just one stomach flu away from my ideal weight..." ;-)

Day 1 a success!

Wow, I made it thru my first day of being single after 10 years.

Got up early, after just a few hours of sleep. Raced out of the house and met my friend Eric for breakfast. Cried at breakfast. Waiter kept trying to bring me fresh coffee to make me feel better!

Couldn't get out of work today, because I was in Sacramento Monday/Tuesday and I had some meetings stacked up. Glad I went; didn't get a whole lot done but was happy to think about other things a bit. Well, at least when I wasn't sitting in my coworkers offices talking about the breakup.

Left early though (around 4pm -- and picked up "lunch" on the way, since I completely forgot to eat). Got home and had the joyful task of finishing the conversion of our 1 bedroom / 1 office apartment into a 2 bedroom apartment, so we have separate spaces. Voila! I am now typing this from my new, private bedroom. Nice!

So, all in all a good day. I made a big list of things that will need doing, but haven't gotten very far on it yet. I guess there's time. Oh one other thing -- I set up a lookie at what sounds like a very nice 1 bedroom apartment close to gorgeous Dolores Park. Keep fingers crossed!

News

Trigby and I have decided to break up. It's not quite a divorce, since we're not quite married, but to all of you it will probably look and feel like one.

So, be extra nice to us as we try to figure what to do now.

Lots to talk about!

Boy has a lot been going on lately. While the blog is called "Muni Meltdown," I've decided that I'm going to start posting on lots of topics other than just transport madness. So, pay attention to the tags/labels on the posts here, since I'm going to cover my personal life and interests a bit more, and transit a bit less.

Not that I won't still kvetch about how awful Muni is -- it still sucks!

Thanks, and more to come.